One Day At A Time

Busy.Busy.Busy

2012-01-31T14:28:00.000-08:00

Life is hectic. I do plan to write more someday soon, but this is why I've been so busy. :)

And redecorating my entire house.

Finally my creativeness has returned! Yay!

Living The Journey. Step 2.

2012-01-12T14:43:00.001-08:00

So, since the whole purpose of my dreadlock journey is so that I can learn to just 'let things go', I figure I better start on it now that my lockes are fairly fully established. The locks were my first step in this process. I know it's confusing that I started with such a huge step, and now I'm keeping it small again, but it's how I had to do it. I had to prove to myself that this was possible in the biggest way I knew how.

It is!

The biggest 'physical' change that I wanted to see when I first started this journey is in my home. Being a sahm (stay at home mama) means that this is my job. My career. It includes caring for the kids, doing the laundry, making meals and keeping the house clean and picked up. Among tons of other things but you what I'm saying. And I take it seriously. Too seriously. To the point of it causing me anxiety. It's crazy and stupid, I know that. I feel that just as how my children behave are a reflection of how I've done as a Mom, so is how the house is kept. It's my job. Simple as that. Would I go to a place of business that I was employed at and leave my office trashed? No.

My point. If the house isn't relatively picked up, at (most) all times, I can't stand it. ( I'm talking the daily toys and clutter, NOT the cleaning. I will continue to be a cleaning freak :) I like that trait in myself, Lol) I can't think in a messy house. I can't do anything in a messy house. A messy house puts me in a bad mood. Stupid. And the odd thing is, it doesn't bother me at someone elses home. Only mine. Pretty sure it's because it is MY responsibility to keep MY home clean.

At least I've figured myself out without help :)

I decided that I needed to be less worried about the small stuff. Like the bathtub toys. The girls play with them every.single.day. But every day, when the baths are done, we scoop up the toys and put them all back. And if, for some reason, we don't do it right after bath, I'll do when I'm going to bed.

That.is.dumb.

This is my first step in changing things:

Yes, that is from last nights bath and it's 3pm the next day and I haven't picked them up yet. usually I have to play the 'out of sight, out of mind' game with myself but not this time. Today I was even able to take a photograph of them and walk away.

This is HUGE for me.

I am really really proud of myself.

I just keep telling myself... 'baby-steps', 'I think I can, I think I can'.

My goal is to just be able to let the mess linger a tad bit longer before picking up.

We'll see how I do. Wish me luck. :)

My Personal Journey, thus far.

2012-01-05T15:10:00.000-08:00

I've gotten a few emails and a few comments left by readers that wanted to know more about my dreadlocks, how it all started, what they mean to me, and also wanted to see some progression photos. So, here it is. Almost 2 years of dreadlocks. My journey, thus far, as simple as I can make it right now.

And I can simply say, best.decision.ever.

I've had my locs for almost 19 months now. I started them June 21st of 2010.

I've dreamed of having dreadlocks ever since I can remember. The biggest reason that I never just did it was perception. 'What would people think?' Yep, that was my biggest fear.

This is what I've learned.

Dreads are:

Natural.

Beautiful.

Patient.

True.

Unique.

Simple.

Carefree.

Hippy.

Sensual.

Peaceful.

Organic.

Thoughtful.

Self.

♥

Dreads are not:

Dirty.

Smelly.

Ew.

Icky.

Gross.

Nasty.

Greasy.

Lice.

Itchy.

*Black.

*Black. should be number one actually. Yep, really. I just would like people to do their research before labeling and stating 'facts')

And yes, these are the things that I hear. I see the eye rolls, I hear the whispers. At first, it bothered me. It made me sad. It takes longer than a day to un-learn what you've seen and done for 37 years.

At about a year into this journey, I would be offended and angry at the comments.

I would be most horrified when these people would show their distaste and horror over my dreadlocks, in front of their children. Hell, it was bad enough in front of my kids too, but at least I could talk with them and answer their questions.

Way to 'set an example'. Great job showing your kids acceptance and tolerance. Nice work on showing them how to tease, belittle and laugh at someone elses expense. Awesome work on showing them how to judge someone based solely on looks. Because yes, that IS what your child is learning. Yes. Children do learn by example.

Now? Now I smile. And laugh. And smile even bigger. My dreadlocks are for ME. I'm not 'doing this to my hair' so that I can have opinions thrown at me daily. I started this journey to better myself. To learn more about me and to finally really start LIVING how I feel. Not, FEEL how I should live. Live how I think others want me to, or how others think things should be. And how does this all relate to dreadlocks? I was always 'messing'; with my hair. Growing it out, cutting it off. Coloring, perming, highlighting. You name it. For some reason, I needed the constant change in my hair. I think it was some sort of oddly placed control thing. I am a bit OCD. I wanted that to change some, so I took away from my control the one thing I always used. My hair. I had to just 'let things go' 'let it be'. I had no choice. This was a huge step in bettering me as a parent, a wife, and a person. For me. I was ready to take that step. I NEEDED to take that step, triplets were kicking my scheduled, planned, list-making OCD butt.

So, I smile at the lady trying to whisper something incognito, you know the one, where she leans in to the side with her hand kinda over her mouth. But just as a shield, (because you know, lip reading is another one of my hidden talents) to her husband who, believe it or not, looks like he might just think they are kinda cool. And I will add the disclaimer that it could very well be the triplets that people are oogling over. But usually not. You see, I've also learned in the past few years, that people will express their opinions on your children, whether nice or not, much more readily than they will talk with you about your hairstyle.

Totally something to think about huh?

I've changed so much in the past 2 years and 11 months. And I'm really happy, content and proud of who I am becoming. And the best feeling is that I'm not afraid to show it anymore. It's a nice feeling.

♥

The following what I hope I am portraying to my children. Because so much of this whole process is about them, for them and because of them. Without my babies, I wouldn't be who I am today. And I like what's happening. I kinda love it actually.

-Soaring Eagle (owner at www.dreadlockssite.com)

dreads are freedom. they are deep personal and intimate connection to

the true self, the earth, to life force of the universe. dreads are a

connection to the true self because all your lifes experiences are

recorded in your hair. when the hairs locked all experiences intercept

all others creating a oneness that can be called wisdom. they are

pure natural beauty. they allow you to be your most natural self, free

from the artificial cosmetic reality of grooming and dressing to impress

makeup and fashion reality

you are simply you. nothing more. nothing less.

dreads are strength and healing.

lets look for a second at anorexia and body image issues that come from, pressure to be perfect, and sensitivity to what others say (youre fat

and worthless. ugly etc etc etc.) when you dread you must stop caring what others

think and only find the strength to know your true worth. and true

beauty does not require validation from shallow narrow minded people.

dreads give you confidence in yourself. in your worth. in your beauty and

value. and that your true value does not lie in your looks but in your

heart. dreads literally are wearing your heart on your sleeve. letting your

soul shine forcing people to look deeper within you...or look away.. it

repels the shallow while attracting the deep..

to dread you invite criticism. you gain the strength to not be so hurt

by ignorance. you find your own bliss and in that bliss you are

protected and cannot be easily harmed by the misery of others

As for my kids?

My kids have learned how to respond and react to both the negative and the positive comments that I get about my hair. The littles will pat my hair or play with my dreadlocks while saying 'Mama beautiful'. The older kids will smile and laugh and usually start a conversation that is pretty opinion seeking. Just because they are teenagers, I suppose. They gotta get a jab in here and there.

But, they have all learned by example.

So, in a nutshell. I started my dreadlock journey to teach me patience, acceptance, and letting go of the little things. Picking my battles. Whats important and what isn't. And it's going really well. I feel a better parent. I know I'm calmer and more patient. I feel things so much deeper and with more thought. It has truly been a journey of me. A look inside my soul. And of who I really am, who I want to be and what I want my children to learn from me.

August 2010

November 2010

January 2011

June 2011

August 2011

December 2011

What did I 'do'? Nothing. No chemicals. No hairbrushes. I use baking soda, apple cider vinegar and peppermint essentials oils on it about twice a week. Every other day, or whenever I'm bored and just watching TV, I separate the locks so they don't 'congo'. If you don't tear them apart they can all grow together and that would be really difficult to care for.

And that's it. Simple and beautiful.

Now, if I could just kick the ocd-ness of always having to have my house clean and picked up, I would be complete :) Oh well, I'm definitely a work-in-progress.

A Whole New Year ::2012::

2012-01-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

I meant to write this last night but completely forgot. I thought it would be cool since I started this blog on NYE 3 years ago. Oh well, maybe a good 'overview' post is waiting to climb outta this one. :)

We had no older kids at home for NYE so the 5 littles went to bed at 9pm and we pretty much vegetated on the couch until 2am. Watching 'Parenthood' (if you haven't seen it yet, DO. It's wonderful. We watch it on Netflix) and playing with Hazel (our bunny).

It.was.awesome. And even awesome-r is that I didn't have to worry about the older kids at all. They were all safe at friends' homes'. No driving at all after 9pm. Best gift for the New Year for me, EVER.

So, back to my story.

Ever since I was a little girl I wrote out my 'New Years Resolutions List'. Every year. I even have most of them saved still. I love to look at them. Pretty funny, the resolutions of a 13 year old girl :)

This year, I decided, in addition of course to my regular list, to focus on one major thing that I wanted to really work on, for myself. Something that was just for me. I have a hard time doing that usually. I mean, of course, on my list is the usual 'be a better Mom, be more patient, spend more individual time with each of the kids' but that all involves others too. This 'resolution' doesn't.

I am going to learn everything that I can about photography. I want to make beautiful, artistic photos more than anything else I've ever wanted to do. Second only to being the best wife and mother that I can be.

I really want this. This photo that I took 2 days ago made me want this even more.

I had a session with a client, a friends sister, right before the New Year. It went amazing. This is one of my shots of her daughter, Katie. I'm usually pretty critical of my work.

Not this one.

I am so dang proud of this photo. I've been pretty much literally showing everyone (and yes, posting it on Facebook is the same thing as showing everyone these days :)

Katie ♥

So, what do I think of the New Year?

I think that 2012 is going to be amazing, beautiful, calm, loving, peaceful and happy.

And that my house is going to be full of alot of photographs.

I ♥ photography.

And I've said it before, but this time I'm doing it. I'm ordering myself a tee shirt.

'Photography Is My Prozac'.

If you haven't yet seen my photography blog, check it out :)

Nikki Semro Photography

(I'll be posting Katies' session, with her Mom, sister and brother, later this week. Watch for it!)

I Am Thankful...Days 29 & 30

2011-11-30T11:31:00.000-08:00

I can't even get the last 2 days on their own day. Good thing this 30 Days Of Thankful is over. I don't think I could have made it much longer. I'm not used to blogging daily. Pretty obvious huh?

Yesterday I was Thankful for the break that my husband gave me. I got to sneak away for a few hours to visit a friend and have dinner. It was so very nice. We hit Taco Tuesday at the bar. Tacos and Diet Pepsis. We are party animals! Lol..I would post the pic that we took, we take one every time we go out, but it's got bad 'flash face'. We look like cats in the dark.

Today I am Thankful that I did this project. It's good for me to stop and reflect on things. I get so caught up in the stresses of my life that I completely lose my mind sometimes. Now I have this to look back on and help me realize that life is good.

Which is why I'm posting this video/song. Again. :)

I ♥ it.

I Am Thankful...Day 28

2011-11-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for my littles and their endless imaginations.

We started a tradition today. It's called Elf On A Shelf. My little 5 are in heaven. Actually, it was pretty much a family affair this time. Madeline bought the Elf and the book this afternoon and we all sat down and watched the movie with popcorn and chocolate milk.

While we were on our 2nd round of the movie, (yes, it's that good) the doorbell rang. Annie and Lilah ran to see who could possibly be at the door at night. She opened the door to a white box. I kid you not, her exact words were:

'It's a package. A white box with letters on it, now isn't that weird?'

I almost laughed too hard. She asked me what it said on it. It said ' To: The S_______'s. Love: Santa.'

'MOM! OUR last name is THAT!' Lol..... 'Yes, Annie, it is' (she is so cute!)

They tore inside and ripped open the box.

I'm pretty sure our neighbors could hear the squeals of joy coming from all the of the girls, while Aaron, myself and the other 3 kids laughed. It was so wonderful to see such happiness and love on everyones face at once. A scene I so wished I had on film.

Anyway, THIS is who arrived this evening:

Meet Snowy Christmas Cookie Melt

She is our very own adopted Elf. Every year she will come after Thanksgiving and keep watch over all of the house during the day. At night, she flies back to the North Pole and reports to Santa how everyone in the S_____ family has been each day. I'm hoping it starts to instill a habit of more kindness and peace, and less arguing (mostly with the youngest 5) throughout our home YEAR ROUND. Really, it's all I want for Christmas. No fighting. Ever. Ha, right? I know. :/

The idea behind it is that once you take her/him out of the box and set her on the shelf, you must name her. Once she has her name, you can no longer touch her or she will lose her magic (at least, that's our adapted version of what us older kids got from the movie's intention. I can't imagine the arguing if 5 little girls had to share one Elf. No way. Better to keep the no touching or she'll lose her magic idea).

At night, after she's reported her day to Santa, she returns and lands in a different spot so that she can watch everyone from different areas of the house.

And this is the part that I love...Only a child would be this thrilled to love that a tiny 12" Elf is watching her every move.

It's magical.

Snowy Christmas Cookie Melt. Her name was decided by Annie and Lilah. The each liked a name so we put it together as one. And there was no arguing! It's starting already! ;)

Annable loves her 'beautiful blue eyes' and Lilah loves the 'red snowyflakes on her skirt'

In the morning the girls will wake up and have to look to see where she landed for the day. I almost can't wait to hear the laughter when they start their search.

It's like a tiny bit of Christmas morning every day until Christmas.

♥

I Am Thankful...Day 27

2011-11-27T22:59:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for the amazingly relaxing week we had. All the kids home, Aaron off for a few days and we had nothing to do and nowhere to go.

It.was.awesome.

I Am Thankful...Day 26

2011-11-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful that I didn't totally forget my baby sisters birthday. It's today. I just NOW remembered. At 10:30pm. I suck. I even SAW her today. My HUSBAND even remembered and THANKFULLY told her Happy Birthday. I totally suck. This is what happens when you never look at a calendar and your kids had an entire week off school so you had no reason to even know what DAY it was, let alone date.

So, I'm super sorry and I really cannot believe I forgot. :( I've NEVER forgotten her birthday. But I am Thankful that I remembered before it was tomorrow.

*Happy Birthday sb*. I love you so much. And I'm sorry I forgot.

I Am Thankful...Day 24 & 25

2011-11-25T21:52:00.000-08:00

Backed up again. I have a good excuse this time. Thanksgiving. Then Black Friday shopping. My first time ever. And it was fantastic! We hit Walmart and Target and got everything that we went there for. Even better? We decided to go to a newly built Walmart, quite off the beaten path and it was pretty dang empty. Well, for a Black Friday event from what I hear. In and out in 40 minutes. Including paying. Then Target. It was a bit crazier but we did it again. Everything we went to get (no more, amazingly) and outta there in less than an hour. The Black Friday Gods were sure on our side last night. I am not only Thankful for having a wonderful first experience, but I was also so Thankful that most everyone was in good spirits and not rude. Rudeness, especially when you KNOW it's going to be crazy, just irritates me. Go, be happy, hope for the best, have a good time and BE NICE. That's what we did. And it worked :)

Today, I am Thankful for my older kids. And all the babysitting that they do for us. Aaron and I were able to go out and get even more Christmas shopping done this afternoon thanks to them. Not only did we get to shop, we got to just 'hang out' together. Something we need to do more of. I LOVE our family and our babies but sometimes it sure is nice to be alone, doing regular stuff. Getting more shopping done, though was awesome.

This may be the first year ever that we are done shopping before Christmas Eve.

MAY BE.

I Am Thankful...Day 23

2011-11-23T22:55:00.000-08:00

Today is a little thing. Today I am extremely grateful, I mean Thankful, for being able to do some of my Christmas shopping online. Not only is it easier, I save so much money with online deals/specials and coupon codes.

How did I ever shop before the internet?

I Am Thankful...Days 21 & 22

2011-11-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been a blur. I've had photos to get edited, a house to clean, laundry to do, trying to get things gathered for Thanksgiving and start Christmas shopping.

I'm cheating tonight. I'm glumping my Thankfuls. It's been that kinda few days.

I am Thankful for the fact that all 5 of my Littles seem to understand that it's been busy and stressful lately. I am Thankful that they have gotten along so nicely for the past 2 days. Barely any arguing. It's made my life so.much.easier.

Thank you Littles. Mommy SO appreciates it.

♥

I Am Thankful...Day 20

2011-11-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for my home and for heat. It was so.freaking.cold here today. Numbing cold. Well, to me anyways. To my friend who lives in Alaska, this is nothing. ;)

I realized today how many things I just take for granted. Something as simple (in my world) as heat was definitely one of them. (And there is a reason I am realizing this, but I am not going to blog about it at this time)

But my family is so fortunate to have what we do.

I am an amazing husband who supports us tirelessly. We may not have brand new cars or the fanciest clothing, but we do have each other.

And we have heat.

I Am Thankful...Day 19

2011-11-19T23:06:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for my babies. All 9 of them of course, but today, it's the babies turn. I almost can't call them 'the babies' anymore. Today my tiny trio turned TWO. I can't believe they are two whole years old.

It's odd because while each day for the past two years seems to inch by every so slowly, when I really sit and think back, it's gone by so crazy fast. I'm not sure that's a bad thing considering for the past two years we've all been in survival mode. Just now is the light at the outside of our porch starting to get brighter. We are re-entering the real world. The babies, I mean, little girls, love to go bye-bye. Their love of outings has really helped me buck up and get out of the house more.

I am so Thankful for them and everything that we've endured for the past 2 years, 34 weeks and 2 days.

I wanted to do a few photos of the trio for this post, but after the party we had for them, I'm exhausted. It's only 11:17 and I'm headed to bed. I haven't gone to bed before midnight in years. I'll post them tomorrow. Maybe I'll combine them with my Thankful Day 20 post. I mean, I am really good at getting more than a few things done at once. ;)

::HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY::

My Beautiful Baby Girls

I love you more than I can ever express. You are all true miracles in our lives.

I Am Thankful...Day 18

2011-11-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for another website on my computer. Pinterest. It's an amazingly awesome suck-hole of tons of things to look at that you will never be able to escape from, if you allow that to happen. It.is.fantastic.

It's an online pinboard. You find something you like online and you 'Pin It'. It saves it on your Pinterest board for you to go look at whenever you want. Like an online notebook. It even saves the exact website that you got whatever it is you 'pinned' from.

For example, on my boards are photography stuff, crafts I want to do, home decorating stuff and just general stuff I like. I got Aaron hooked on it. His contains stuff on Costa Rica, and the beach. It is so unbelievably useful.

And you can 'follow' friends.

Check it out! It is pretty dang cool.

I found this cool little tag on there. I thought it was hilarious. And fitting. For me anyways ;)

Source: nichewhite.com via Nicole on Pinterest

I Am Thankful...Day 17

2011-11-17T21:36:00.001-08:00

Today my Thankful is really special to me. Today I am Thankful for my amazing neighbor, Anne. The best part of this entry is that Anne reads my blog so she will be able to read for herself how Thankful I am for her. ♥ Actually, for her and another neighbor, Alice.

Long story short (okay, so not short, but I'll try to be brief :) )

When I signed Annie up for Kindy, I knew that she wouldn't be riding the bus in the morning. I just can't put a 5 year old, on a school bus, with 7/8/9 year olds. I don't know them, their behaviors, or their upbringing. Now, that may sound like I'm being just plain silly, but I know I'm not. God knows what can happen to kids, LOTS of kids, on a bus, where the only adult has to be responsible for getting my child from point A to point B safely. So, my thoughts are that for that 30-45 minute bus ride, my child is left, in a sense, unattended.

No. freaking.way.

My struggle would have been loading up 5 kids, drive A to school, unload 5 kids, walk A into the school, load 4 kids, drive home, unload 4 kids.

Whew. Tiring. But necessary.

Along comes my amazing neighbor(s).

Anne offered to come over, every.single.morning to stay with the trio and Lilah so that I can take A to school, walk her in, give her an uninterrupted hug, kiss and goodbye therefore, focusing only on Annie.

It is absolutely wonderful. I am so so so Thankful to Anne for offering to do this for us. Not only does she come over, she comes ready to play with my kids. She brings books to read and games to play. Today, she came over ready to sing songs about our new bunny Hazel. She tells my children how much she loves them, every day. What child couldn't stand to hear 'I Love You' from every single person that knows them? I Love You is the strongest thing you can say to a child, yet I don't think kids hear it enough.

I know mine do.

Anne is also friends with another neighbor, Alice. I am also so very Thankful to Alice. She now comes 2 days a week, and Anne comes 3. Alice, too, is such a blessing in my childrens' lives. Last week, she brought over a STACK of American Girl magazines for the girls. They were in.heaven. They looked at those catalogs for the entire day. They are now on our bookshelf and get looked at regularly.

I am so Thankful that these 2 beautiful ladies have so generously offered up their time and their hearts to my babies. I feel so lucky to have them both in my life.

A special message to Anne & Alice:

Thank you both so very much. For your help, for your stories, for just being here and enriching my childrens' lives just that much more with your experiences, and for loving my babies.

They all love you both so much.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you for everything.

I ♥ you both.

I Am Thankful...Day 16

2011-11-16T21:44:00.001-08:00

I'm trying to not repeat what I'm Thankful for. So I won't say Yo-Gabba Gabba again. Or my husband again. (although I am thankful for those again today)

Today I am Thankful for my computer. Ha. I know right? But I am. It's my biggest connection to the real world lately. That, and it's how I do my work.

But really. Between my blog, email and Facebook, my computer has helped me stay sane. I can write when I need to, I can jump on Facebook and feel like I am a part of things that other people are also a part of. The world opens up past my front door.

And let me just admit it now. I couldn't bring myself to say that I am Thankful for Facebook because that would make me seem just...I don't know..I would say pathetic, but I don't feel pathetic so that's not the right word....Addicted isn't right either because I went FOUR WHOLE HOURS this morning without checking my Facebook. THAT is an accomplishment. :p.

So, yeah, I am Thankful for my computer. It just so happens that my computer is HOW I gain access to Facebook.

So there :)

I Am Thankful...Day 15

2011-11-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

I am struggling with trying to find something to be Thankful for today. Really struggling. I won't ask you all to join my pity party, so I'll just say that 5 whining and crying tots aren't very much fun. Scratch that, it's a freaking nightmare. Add to that, 3 photo sessions to edit, a house to clean, a party to plan, and just life in general. Honestly, typing it makes me tired. And grumpy.

People say to me all the time, 'I don't know how you do it, how DO you do it?' And they look at me like I've got 3 heads, or triplets or nine kids or something crazy like that. My answer used to be, "I just DO'. What choice do I have?'

I just realized that is a crappy answer. It makes it seem like I'm stuck here. Like, if I had any other choice, I would choose that one. When, in actuality, when I really think about it, I wouldn't choose any other life for myself. Sure, I might wish to be a bit farther in my photography goals, or I might wish that the trio was 5 so they didn't cry so much. I might even wish for a housekeeper everytime I'm cleaning the bathrooms with 3 little helpers.

But all those things are attainable. All the things that I 'wish' for CAN happen, I just need to keep truckin' along. I do just DO things but I also have a choice. And I choose to be me. A mama to 9 beautiful children and a wife to my amazing husband. Everything that it says in my blog profile and more. I am:

Nicole: I am a Wife. Lover. Mama. Sister. Friend. Aunty. Breastfeeder. Photographer. Reader. Dreamer. Believer. Nature Lover. Seeker. Wanna-be Hippy. Writer.

So, I decided that today I am Thankful for the person that I've become.

I am Thankful for ME. ♥

I Am Thankful...Day 14

2011-11-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

Like I said before. It's the little things. Today I am Thankful for our new Bunny. She doesn't have a name yet (well, she DID but it was just too hard for A & L to say Beatrix :( ) So the name hunt begins yet again.

So, why am I Thankful for a bunny? Our animals bring us together more as a family. Today, A, L and myself played with her for a good hour. It almost 'makes' me focus on the tots. The trio is so demanding most of the time that A & L take a backseat way more than I like. This is something I can do WITH them, have fun, and they learn an important life lesson. Pets are so important in a childs' life.

Today, we had to clean her hutch and play with her a bit. We can't play with her too much yet, she's a little stressed from her move so we are letting her come out of the hutch on her own. She usually comes out, hops around the table, gets a few pets then jumps back in. This time tho, she really wanted to snuggle with the girls. And the girls had a blast. So did I. It was sooooo nice to take a break from the house and work and just lay on the floor and PLAY. Something I don't do enough of.

I Am Thankful...Day 13

2011-11-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

One day late. Are you surprised? Instead of doing two days in one post, I'll just do 2 posts in one day. ( I know, the same thing, it just sounded better )

Yesterday I was Thankful for my husband. Well, I'm ALWAYS Thankful for him, but yesterday was different.

Aaron always entertains my desires to have pets. Lots of pets. I love having animals around. Especially 'different' animals. He doesn't love it, but he tries.

We had a ferret. Alice. We all LOVED her but Aaron just couldn't take

the smell. Then M moved out and couldn't take her with so we had to rehome her :(.

This time, I wanted a bunny. I did alot of reading on how bunnies make great pets and you can litterbox train them. Aaron obliged, this time more willingly. I think he likes bunnies and just won't admit it. Lol.

I needed a hutch, and asked my neighbor to build one, but then came across some information on re-purposing an existing piece of furniture. So, we did. And

this is what my awesome husband came up with :)

BEFORE

AFTER

Cool huh?

I Am Thankful..Day 12

2011-11-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for my Photography. I know that alot of my posts are going to be about Photography, because lately, that is my passion. I could get deep and be Thankful for intense things, world issues and things happening around me, but the way I see it, I KNOW I am thankful for those things. I need a lesson in being Thankful for the little things. The things that I take for granted every day.

Today, it is my photography.

Today I got to photograph my little brothers family. Him, his wife, and his daughter. I'm not sure if it's just me, but the bond and the love the 3 of them have, is so apparent to me in real life and I think I captured it well in their photos. I've only got the one edited so far, but I was looking through them all, and although we got quite a few good ones, the candid happiness on all their faces in this particular photo gets to me.

Seeing other people so happy, and the fact that I can SHOW them their happiness, makes my heart smile.

I just love it.

You have a beautiful family baby brother. I love you all so much. ♥

I Am Thankful...Days 10 & 11

2011-11-12T00:45:00.001-08:00

Well, I did it again. Forgot. And almost again. It's 12:44 on the 12 Day, and I'm here writing about Days 10 and 11.

I suck.

I've been really forgetful lately. I think I've finally met my match in the mama:children ration. 1:9 is my max.

So, anyhoos. On Thursday (Day 10) I was Thankful for Target. I took the trio and Lilah and went to Target. Alone. Without a stroller. That was a first for us. Thankfully (and this is why I am Thankful for Target) they have those cool carts:

Making our Target trip do-able without a stroller. D & E were in the cabbie part, R in the seat and G in the cart. They were perfect. We lasted an hour. A new record for us. Even WITH help. I'm proud of me.

Today, well, technically the 13th Day since it's 1am, but Friday, Day 11, I am Thankful for Yo-Gabba-Gabba. It's a TV show for kids. The babies LOVE IT. Love. They stand in front of the TV and look like little baby aerobics. They copy the dance moves and everything. I was laughing so hard. Plus, it gave me a few moments of much needed free/me time.

I see lots more of these funky little guys in our lives. I see they make little figurines. My kids love tiny toys that they can just carry around. And they might be just funkily-odd enough for me to love them too. :)

The green striped guy is kinda cute. ;)

I Am Thankful..Day 9

2011-11-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I promised myself that each day I would be specific about what I was Thankful for. To not just blog 'I'm thankful for life'.' Or I'm Thankful for today'. I wanted to really make myself think back and reflect on each day. And I've done pretty good. Until today, when it wasn't an ideal day, yet I'm laying here blogging with a smile on my face. So I started to think (uh-oh).

I think that I used to be happy about how the day went if it was overall PERFECT. Sleeping in, showered in peace, breakfast eaten and not thrown to the dog, playing happily through the morning with minimal television, calm and quiet lunch, nice long nap for everyone while the Mama got a few much needed things done around the house, dinner planned, good, ready on time AND, I'm gonna really stretch it here, EVERYONE likes what I made, baths for the little that last longer than 3 minutes, an evening not interrupted by athletic practices and grocery store runs, and a quick, loving, calm & quiet bedtime routine.

*sigh* Yes, I realize these are the rantings of a crazy lady.

I suddenly realized, that I had a good day. How did our day go? We woke up late. I had to yell at A to get her to get ready quicker, and there is NOTHING I hate more than yelling at my kids. J had a Dr's appointment to burn off warts, in which I took all the kids to get us all out of the house (very much needed). G had a meltdown in the car and proceeded to boycott food for the rest of the day, a meltdown between A & L over a computer game, late meeting M at Ikea, no dinner planned until I walked though the door, kids STILL recovering from Halloween and the time change.

*sigh* Now THAT sounds more like one of MY days.

But.

Nobody got hurt. Nobody fell, or got bit, or kicked each other. Colds are clearing up. The damn fleas appear to be gone (We've been battling them for 4 months now) and I'm starting to gather Christmas ideas (yes, just now, but I'm early this year! It's not Thanksgiving yet). Dishes are done and the house is cleaned up.

And right now, I have my 8 beautiful, happy sleeping babies upstairs. I just got off the phone with my very 1st baby and she's heading to bed in her own place and I know she's home and happy and safe. I'm snuggled on the couch with my husband, blogging, while he patiently waits for me to finish so we can watch 'Dexter',

Yep, I am Thankful for TODAY.

I Am Thankful..Day 8

2011-11-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for my Dreadlocks. So very Thankful. 17 months ago, I 'started' my Dreadlocks. Here is where I blogged about my journey initially, and a few times after that, I'm sure. I was hoping that they would not only teach me patience but that they would make my mornings just a little bit easier by not having to wash my hair every day. All of my dreams about having dreadlocks have come true. I've gained patience, tolerance and understanding of myself. I've learned so much, simply by allowing my hair to do what it naturally wants to do. This journey has been the ultimate test of patience. And trust me, with triplets, you can never have enough patience. :) Plus, on those days that simply washing my hair means that I'm in the shower for just 3 minutes longer, causing a few lovely little girls to do just that much more damage while I'm out of site, NOT having to wash my hair everyday is life-saving. Or at least chaos saving.

It's the little things.

Annnddddd, it helps that I am finally happy with my hair. I ♥ my dreadlocks. For so many reasons.

I Am Thankful..Day 7

2011-11-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

Today I am Thankful for Goodwill. Yes, the store. I know, kind of an odd thing to be thankful for, but I am. It's like going into a garage sale every day. And the Goodwill Outlet? Don't even get me started. Best.place.ever. I've blogged about it before so I won't bore you with the details.

That reminds me. I need to get in there soon!

I Am Thankful...Days 5 & 6

2011-11-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

Thankful and apparently forgetful also. I went to bed last night completely forgetting to blog what I was thankful for that day.

Yesterday I was thankful for Lola. Lola is my littlest sisters' new puppy. She's a French Bulldog and she.is.precious.

*Warning. Cuteness OVERLOAD below.

♥Meet Lola ♥

Sunday, November 6th 2011

Today I was Thankful for such a beautiful sunny yet cold Fall day. Fall is my favorite season and when its sunny, its even better. Aaron and Joey were out of town for soccer for the day so the other kids and I cranked on the music, cleaned, organized and danced.

I ♥ Fall. And cleaning. And dancing. It was a really good day.

I Am Thankful..Day 4

2011-11-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

Today I am Thankful for my new lens that Aaron bought me, just because :) It's a Lensbaby. It's amazing. I am having so much fun with it. It's got a learning curve to it, that's for sure but it sure has made taking photos just that.much.more fun.

Here's my first few attempts at it. Not perfect but like I said, learning curve ;)

Pretty cool right?

I Am Thankful..Day 3

2011-11-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Music.

I am so very Thankful for music. They say music 'Tames The Wild Beast'. I have proof. Music also tames 'The Wild Triplets' and 'The Wild Toddlers'.

It also tames the 'Stressed Out Mama' AND helps the teenagers focus on homework.

Right now, our favorite song is by Adele. 'Someone Like You'. (we actually love pretty much anything and everything by Adele, she is amazing) We all ♥ it. And my 3 year old and 5 year old know almost all the words to most of her songs.

It's awesome.

Being Thankful...(Catch Up, Days 1 & 2)

2011-11-03T09:31:00.001-07:00

There is a thing going around Facebook where each day you list what you are Thankful for that day. I missed the first 2 days but I really want to play. So, I figured I would play here and on Facebook. Plus, it will give my blog readers something to read, even if it's just a blurb each day. Okay, who am I kidding? I have a hard time writing 'just a blurb'. I like to write. And talk. ;)

I am THANKFUL.

November 1st 2011... I am Thankful for friends. New friends, old friends, and old friends that become new again. I had a really great time with an old/new friend at dinner this day. ♥ Thank you for the fun time Serena ♥

November 2nd 2011... I am Thankful for my camera. I spend alot of time taking photos and editing photos lately. It's become somewhat of a therapy for me. It's my little escape to a world where I can just play. And how amazing is it that I can work/play at the same time both at home, and in a career? I think I am doubl-y Thankful for this day. Here is what I spent yesterday working on. Editing a photo session with 3 absolutely beautiful girls. This is my favorite shot from that shoot. I adore it. Thank you for allowing me to photograph your girls Stephanie. ♥

And we are on Day 3. I think that I will wait until the end of each day to post. I never know when I might have one thing that I am just that.much more Thankful for than another in any given day.

See you tonight :)

We heart Fall

2011-10-16T23:35:00.000-07:00

For the past 27 months, I (and the 5 littles) haven't left the house much. It's been really hard for me to adjust to taking all 5 of them out and about. Not without some help anyways. I just haven't been comfortable with the safety issues of me trying to manage 5 children under the age of 5 in public, by myself. Heck, even when I have help it's so much work that we usually just make sure someone is here to stay with at least a few of the littles so that we don't have to take them out.

Long story short, we NEED to get out more. Alot more. The babies are getting older (Almost TWO!!) and it IS getting easier to be out and about. I'm slowly trying things here and there.

Today, I decided that I needed to be a FUN mama again and take the kids to the Pumpkin Patch.

I called my sister and asked if her and her daughter would like to go. So we all went. (All but Aaron and Joey, they were at a soccer game) We had a blast. The kids had fun. We even dressed them in their costumes to make it extra special. Helps with cuter photos too :)

Emilia and Gwendolen were scared TO DEATH. (They freak out now whenever they have to go outside, and won't even WALK outside by themselves. I'm hoping more outings will help) Rosalie loved it. Cassidy (my niece), Annie and Lilah were thrilled. Juliette, Noah and Noah's girlfriend just hung back and helped/watched.

Pretty sure Fall is my most favorite season. Here are just a few beautiful reasons why:

Cast of Characters:

Piglet - Rosalie

Monkey - Gwendolen

Ladybug - Emilia

Dorothy - Delilah

Witch with striped tights - Annabel

Witch with orange ruffled hat - Cassidy

Happy Fall!

Never Lose Hope.....

2011-09-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting here forever trying to figure out a title for this post. I figure, this time, the title will come after the post, not something I normally do.

A few months ago, this was a really crappy post to have to write. I know, nice English, but really the only other word I could think of didn't sound great.

I guess I don't have alot to say right now. Well. I do but I'm torn as to whether or not I want so much of my private life out on the internet. Ha. Did I really just say that? I guess I'm more meaning that I'm not sure it's my right or my place to 'out' someone, something, or a situation on my blog. I think deep down I feel that's it okay since this is MY blog and they are MY feelings. I actually did a blog such as that once, with just references to a person. But that person was upset with it so I deleted it. But I'm not sure still. I'll wait.

My blog seems to be so all.over.the.board. I must have writers ADD or something. Looking back, I seem to blog when I'm stressed out, or sad, or angry. Not so much when things are going smooth or I'm happy and content (which, sadly, doesn't seem often enough for me) More of the negative, extreme emotions provoke blogging. Now, I know what is my Prozac. Writing. I must have added to my 'coping mechanisms medications list' since I now find myself turning to my camera more than my writing. And the awesome thing is, it works. Photography Is My Prozac. Haha. I need a tee shirt.

Right now, I'm all of the above. Crazy right? I'm completely stressed out, I'm anxious, I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm happy and content. I'm in love, I feel beautiful, I feel angry.

But I've decided that all those feelings are okay because I also,

FEEL HOPEFUL.

Because, really, in this situation it's all I have left to give. Hope, and Love.

This is a message for 2 amazing people in my life that I love so very much. With all my heart. It's not intended as a lecture, or an 'outing' or bitching. It's not a goodbye or a fuck you. It's intended as, just what I said, a message. Listen closely. Listen carefully. And know that I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER the sickening fear that I've lost you both. Too many times.

I ♥ you both so so so much. I need you. We all do.

(as usual, I'm using music to try to relay my thoughts)

And....

http://www.youtube.com/user/ColdplayVEVO#p/f/19/o2qJl7TP9IM

Photography Blog

2011-09-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

Another step..I set up a photography blog. It will be mainly just publishing's of my sessions/and fun stuff.

Enjoy :)

http://nikkisemrophotography.blogspot.com/

Choices.

2011-09-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, just sometimes, okay, usually. The RIGHT choice isn't always the EASY choice. For some reason, the decisions that I ponder the longest and hardest, usually turn out just fine. Aaron always gives me grief for being indecisive. I'm not indecisive. I just like to make the right decisions. All the time. So I think. Alot. Obsessively almost.

We decided when Annabel was about 2 to homeschool her and any other babies that came along. Our older 4 kids have all, and still do, go to public school. The experience has been fairly average. Not awesome, but not crappy either. We researched a ton and decided to homeschool. Our older kids were given a choice, and for 6 months, Juliette did try homeschool, but she decided to go back to public school. We fully supported either decision.

Fast forward to this summer. I was getting everything prepared for Annabels' schooling. Workbooks, pencils, and science stuff. We restocked her art cabinet with all new supplies. We continued working on her name, her phone number, the alphabet and counting. Did we ever 'sit down at the table and drill knowledge into her' ? No. She learned as she lived. We counted how many bites she had left to eat at the dinner table. She learned to subtract a few smaller numbers by eating. ' I have 5 peas left. I have to eat 2, so that leaves 3' ! We buy Scrabble Cheez-Its and she loved to find all the letters in her name. We would look for other words too and when she found them, she could eat them. Just to name a few things. Learning through living. It how I believe it should be.

Then I had to really open my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to continue with homeschooling. I knew that while Annabel was learning, so were the other 4. The babies can count to 3. Delilah is doing small subtracting too.

But. The babies are getting so.damn.hard. It's all I can do most days just to eat. I'm quite overwhelmed almost every day and keeping my sanity has to take priority for just a minute. (Which, by the way is where my photography steps up and heals my mind) Even if it sacrifices some of my own philosophies

Aaron and I had to step back and really ask ourselves if this really was the BEST option for Annie. Now, don't get me wrong, I still truly believe in homeschool. I love the theory of un-schooling (Aaron and I don't agree on the subject of un-schooling, but that's okay) and we've been her teachers for 5 years now. We all have. And I think we've done pretty damn good. I am confident that I can continue to be her teacher, why would I suddenly question that? My biggest question was, can I be the BEST teacher for her right now?

We are so fortunate to have lived in the same home for almost 11 years now. Which means we know the school. And the teachers.

My son, Noah, had the most amazing Kindergarten teacher. We'll call her Mrs. D. She was a storybook teacher. The kind they show in movies, or write about in books. She was the perfect combination of loving, and kind, yet stern and consistent. Every child felt loved and knew what was expected of them. I felt safe sending my child to be in the care of this wonderful lady for 2.5 hours a day. I knew she loved him as her own, and wanted nothing more than to teach these children all that she knew. The most amazing part, is that she was able to make each and every child feel that way. I felt my son was getting the same level of love and knowledge that he was getting at home. It's not easy for a teacher to make a parent feel this way. She truly loves her career and it shows.

We decided to send Annie to school. BUT. We had it 'under one condition'. IF we could get Mrs. D., we would send Annabel to school. And I am driving her because what happens on a school bus is for a whole 'nother day. :/

ANNNNDDDDD.....WE GOT MRS. D.!!

We talked with Annabel about it and she's quietly excited. Very typical Annabel reaction. Sweet, sweet girl.

We decided to take it year-by-year. We'll look at it every summer, see how things went and.....just see. I do feel a little guilty. But when I look at the situation as a whole, this is the right choice for us for right now. And best of all, it's the right choice for Annabel, and all I want in all my parenting adventures, is to make the choices that are right for my family. It's all Aaron and I ever want.

Today, right now and this minute, I am excited for my baby girl.

And she is pretty darn thrilled too. She couldn't stop giggling as we were taking her pictures.

Thanks Mrs. D. For being the kind of teacher that loves each and every child for who they are. And thank you for sensing my almost anxiety attack as we were registering her for school and hugging me. You reassured me with one simple gesture how much you already love my daughter. I can't wait to see Annie grow this year, with your knowledge, your love and your guidance.

♥ ♥ ♥

Vacation.

2011-08-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

We just got home from our yearly lake trip. We stayed a week this time and had SO.MUCH.FUN. I think this time, a picture IS worth a thousand words. Family, friends, love, and FUN. What more could one ask for?

♥ ♥ ♥

9 days.

2011-08-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

It's been nine whole days since the babies have nursed. I'm so conflicted about it. They day-weaned themselves a few months ago so we were only doing the nighttime nursings. The nighttime nursings used to be what got me sleep. But since they have become toddlers, not so much. Nighttime nursings became a time to play with the other sister who was nursing. And I used to be able to pull them off and they would roll over and go to sleep. Not anymore. Now they would scream in protest if I so much as attempted to adjust my body while they are nursing. It just wasn't working anymore. At all. I would lay in bed, awake for hours at 2am, 4am and 5am just waiting for them to finish. Sometimes, they didn't and I would be up all night. I don't know what caused the change other than them becoming aware of each other much more now. So, I decided that it was time to be done. A decision that was heart wrenching. I wanted so badly to nurse them to 2 years. But mentally, I just could not do it anymore. I have days where I think my decision was the right one, and days where I wish I would've stuck it out just 3 more months. Some days I feel very selfish, while others I look at how far we all came and I smile.

I KNOW I did good. I KNOW that exclusively breastfeeding triplets to 21 months is a major accomplishment but that Mommy-Guilt still likes to peek in every once in awhile.

I try to rationalize. 21 months is huge. If they were singletons, that is 63 months! Okay, I know that doesn't make a ton of sense, but it makes me feel better.

The babies are doing okay. I went to Seattle for the first night so Aaron could comfort them and I wouldn't be tempted to run up there. I came home and he said they did great so the next 4 nights I slept on the couch. They cried a few minutes when they awoke the first few nights but now they don't cry at all. Now, on Day 9, Emilia has slept all night in her room for 7 of the 9 days. Gwendolen has for 5 or the 9. Rosalie, 0. But it's okay. She comes in with us and lays her head on my shoulder and goes right back to sleep. They do seem to sleep better now, and of course, so do I.

Gwendolen is the only one that still seems to miss it. The 3rd day I stepped out of the shower, she saw me and started crying for 'a drink, a drink'. This morning, I caught her trying to nurse off my neck as I was sleeping. When she realized that I saw her she stopped and said 'I drink' and laughed and climbed off the bed.

I think they are okay. And I am okay.

I know in my heart, that I gave them the best that I had.

Beach.

2011-08-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Aaron and I decided to try our luck with spontaneity. Okay, I lie. Aaron is the spontaneous one. Me? Not so much. In fact, it downright stresses me out. I like to plan. I'm a list maker. I have to-do lists laying around everywhere. I add to them daily. Aaron likes to live in the moment. Just pack up and go when you feel moved to do so. They do say opposites attract. We are proof.

Here are the results of our beach trip .Aaron wanted to visit with his Dad, who lives, obviously, at the beach. I'd say that spontaneity was in our favor this day for sure.

Oh, and you may have noticed the mark on the photos. Nikki Semro Photography. I've decided to try my hand at professional photography. So, if you are local to me and know anyone who might be interested, tell them about me. Shoot me an email at nikmjnj @ yahoo dot com. I also have a page on Facebook. Look it up, Like my page :)

Note To Self.....

2011-07-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

Are they GOOD BABIES??.....

I get asked this question all.the.time. Does anyone really think I am going to say, 'No, not really. They are awful. Horrible.'...?

Probably not. Not unless I am having a really really bad day, but I would never say that outloud. Only in my head, sometimes in a vented text to my sister and well, I do occasionally mutter it under my breath to Aaron. But that's it.

Then I get, 'How about your teenagers? Are they good? Teens are HARD. Whoa, wait until you have 5 teenage girls!! I'm glad I don't live in YOUR house!'

-Yeah, thanks, so am I. I surely don't need your negativity bringing me down. Our house may be chaotic, but it's beautiful chaos.

All babies are good. All babies are sweet. All babies are perfect. Every single one of them are all that and so much more.

Toddlers are fun. Toddlers are a challenge. Toddlers are full of life and curiosity. Toddlers make the world stop with their discovery of life and everything around them.

Tweens are sweet. Tweens try so hard to discover themselves. Tweens are so fun to observe. Tweens keep the world smiling at their ever changing lives from minute to minute.

Teens. Teens are beautiful. Teens make you think, and remember, and reminisce . Teens make you laugh in wonderment at the almost adult you're responsible for creating.

We are, right now, raising triplets (babies), toddlers, tweens and teens.

It's what we put into our children as their teachers. We need to set the examples and guide the way. For their entire lives. Raising a child doesn't stop if they make a mistake. It doesn't stop when they turn 18, or move out. It doesn't stop when they go to college or even if they don't. It doesn't stop when they get married and have their own families.

It's a forever kinda thing.

A lifetime promise to commit to this experience with more love than anything else you'll ever commit to, in your life.

And it's HARD.

I came across this story on Facebook. It's perfect (I'm just seeing it for the first time although I'm sure it's known). It makes it all so simple. Suddenly, it doesn't seem quite as difficult now.

'An old man told his grandson, "My son, there's a battle between
two wolves inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed,
resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth."
The boy thought about it and asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

Pay It Forward

2011-07-13T14:49:00.001-07:00

Pay It Forward. I'm sure most of have heard the term. But it's also a movie. An amazing, heart stopping movie. It makes you think. It makes you want to change the world. It makes you think some more. It's one of those movies that sticks with you. The one you can watch over and over again and even though you know the entire movie word for word, it still brings the same emotion every single time you watch it.

Like E.T. I mean, who hasn't seen E.T at least 6 times, cries when E.T 'dies' and then starts jumping up and down, laughing and clapping when his little red heart starts glowing again?

Pay It Forward is that kind of movie, although not as happy, unfortunately. It's the one movie I want my kids to watch, over and over again. If you haven't seen it, do. It will have a huge impact on you.

So, you watched the trailer, or have seen the movie. The basic idea is that we need to help each other out. Do a favor without expecting something in return. Be it big or little. Be the reason for someone to smile. You never know when you will make someones day better. Or happier. Or brighter. It's the little things that matter.

Yesterday we listed a computer that we weren't using for sale on Craigslist (an older one, I listed it for just $75) Within minutes of listing it, I got a call. From a 16 year old boy. He needed it for school, but wouldn't have any money until the 1st. When his social security check came. His dad just died and he gets social security every month. He was simply asking if I could possibly hold it for him until the 1st, he would try to give me some money down and he understood if I couldn't hold it but he thought it was worth asking. I told him that I would call him back if I got any other calls on it. He called me back about 30 minutes later. He said that he talked with his mom and she said they just couldn't afford it and he apologized to me for wasting my time and telling me that he could come up with some money to hold it, when he couldn't.

All night, I couldn't get this kid out of my head. I'm pretty good at being able to tell if I'm being lied to, but it's hard over the phone, when you can't see their eyes and body signals. But something in my heart was telling me that this kid was not lying. He wouldn't have called back to apologize to me if he was. He was sincere. He needed a computer and just couldn't afford it. So, today, I called him back. I asked him if he still needed a computer. He did. I told him he could have it. Just have it. He was literally stunned into silence for a few moments. Then he asked if I was serious. I was. He insisted that he could never just take it and that he would try really hard to come up with some money to give me. It took me about 5 minutes to convince him that I wanted him to have it and that I wanted nothing in return other than for him to use it. I could hear the smile on his face. He's on his way over now to pick it up. Will I ask him to 'Pay It Forward'? Yes. Whether it's just turning around and giving it to someone else when he's done, or if it's something else entirely, it doesn't matter. What matters is that it's the little things. So, giving someone a $75 computer isn't saving the world. But it made a difference in his life. It made him happy. It made him smile.

I won't lie, it felt good to make him happy. And to show my kids that life isn't always about looking out for #1. It's about looking out for other too. It's about love, and kindness. Peace and compassion. It's about caring for others and being the best person that you can be.

I wonder, if more people did that, how much better of a world would we live in? If everyone, at least once in awhile, made it a point to 'Pay It Forward', what would happen?

PS. Did my post make you think? Well, it must be something in the summer air, my friend Olya posted about something very similar, at almost the exact same time as I did. Get cozy, with a cup of tea and start reading Olya's blog. It's inspiring, to say the least ♥

PPS. For some odd reason, I'm getting a very de'ja'vu feeling as I'm reading what I've written. I think that maybe somewhere along the line, I've written about this before.......??? *shrug* oh well, I think the topic deserves a few repeats :)

Making Myself Proud.......

2011-06-23T22:44:00.002-07:00

Besides the obvious answer of my husband, kids and my life, is two other things. Personal achievements.

My Dreadlocks and my beginning of my Tattoo Piece.

For about 6 years now, I've been talking of getting a new tattoo. I do have a few already but just smaller, simple things. I call them 'stamps' more than tattoos. This time I wanted to start a piece. A story, on my body. Not just a 'stamp' but an actual telling of things I love and of what I am passionate about at this point in my life. So, when Aaron started talking about it more seriously, I was so freakin' excited!!

So, this year, for Mothers' Day, I got a card and money to start my tattoo! Have I said what an amazing husband and kids I have lately? AMAZING.

I love that I can display my inner thoughts and passions permanently on my body so that I will forever remember this time in my life symbolically. And to show my kids another style of Art. To show them that self-expression, even in public form is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

( the 3 down my spine and the one on my lower back are all existing inks. The total time involved thus far is about 7.5 hours. The artist thinks it will be another 8-10 hours until it's complete).

On June 21st, 2010, (Summer Solstice), (If you remember, a post here tells how I initially started it until I realized my mistake and started over going all natural/neglect) I started my dreadlock journey. And it really is a journey of a lifestyle, a being. It's nothing to do with 'looks', although, I think that dreadlocks are the most beautiful pieces of human art ever. I started mostly as a test to my not-so-patient self. To learn to relax, breathe, to let go, and stay calm. I am pretty manic about certain things. A clean house, organization, and clean children. I have also been known to obsess about my hair. I am never satisfied with what it looks like. Ever. I am always trying something new.

Dreadlocks took away a lot of my 'power' about everything. And to learn that sometimes you just have to go with it. Stop fighting so hard. And it doesn't matter what you look like, it truly IS what's inside that counts. Always. And I can feel myself calmer each day. It's helped me to be more in tune to myself, and others feelings and emotions, when more positive energy is spent on what really matters in this moment. Our loved ones. Our world. And our life. It's about being true to ourselves and being happy and content with our lives and loves.

sigh

2011-06-21T18:55:00.001-07:00

Hey! Guess what? Toddler Triplets are 3 BILLION times more difficult than Newborn Triplets, Baby Triplets, Crawler Triplets and anything and everything in between.

Add to that a very intelligent 5 year old and a very precarious 3 year old. Oh, AND throw in a tween and 3 teens.

What does that make the Mommy? A big, giant, mess. Sometimes a good mess or a funny mess, but more often than not, just a plain 'ol Mommy-Mess. You know, the one that went from SWEARING to herself her entire childhood to never, ever, EVER call your child by ALL your childrens' names combined. You know what I'm talking about. This one: ' Annie. I mean, Mad, I mean Lillll....CRAP,*sigh* Gwendolen, can you please come here'. My mom used to do that. We would just sit and wait to see who she actually needed until she finally sighed, shrugged her shoulders and calmly said the intended childs' name. Used to drive me NUTS. I didn't understand WHY on earth she couldn't remember 4 simple names. I swore I would never do that to my children and I would look at them and know who I was asking for BEFORE saying anything aloud.

HA. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. HA.

I apologize Mom. Profusely. For thinking you should not have given us all names with "L" in them and you would actually be able to say each name separately. For wondering how you could possibly so stressed out that you would forget my name. I.am.sorry.

What did this 'super-smart-learn-from-others'-mistakes' Mommy do?

I had 9 children. Nine. and Triplets. Hm. I would say that I am a candidate for a little stress. What else did I do? I made sure that every one of my girls has an "L" in her name. And it didn't get intentional until we starting trying to name the triplets. We never even realized that we did it. Just like my mom. Just as I swore I would never do.

Anyhow. (Not sure how I got from Mommy-mess to talking about "L" names, so......:)

I am, most days, a mess. I shower immediately upon waking up. If I go downstairs without showering, I can just kiss that shower goodbye. Won't happen, and I am GRUMPY without my shower. And that, is my one super accomplishment for the entire day. I am amazingly grateful for my (One-year old TODAY!) dreadlocks. That means, that 3-4 days of my week, my showers are QUICK since I only wash my hair every other day. The babies thank me for that. They do not like being locked in the bedroom/bathroom first thing in the morning, even though I do have a toy box and a box of books in my room to keep all 5 of the littles occupied.

Breakfast making is the equivalent of running a marathon. With rabid monkeys. Everyone is starving (which makes total sense for the triplet rabid monkeys that nurse all night still) So in between the babies crying to get in their 'seats' and the little girls asking what we have and me trying to keep all 5 of them happy enough to not start the tantrums at 9am, breakfast does somehow get made. All this wouldn't be so bad if the babies didn't want only scrambled eggs for breakfast. With berries.

Tonight. I started making the eggs AT NIGHT and sticking them in the fridge. Did you know that if you put them in a ziploc bag while still warm, they stay moist and taste just as yummy, if not yumm-ier than fresh made. For real. The biggest bonus? They clump together more, making it easier for the babies to eat them.

Sometimes the toddlers have eggs, sometimes cereal. They are the easy ones.

Then the rest of the morning is all a blur. After vacuuming that is. I'm a bit OCD about the house. I vacuum every day. Dog. Cat. 9 kids. Need I say more?

We play. We color. We read books. Snack. Alot of snacking. And sippy cups. Lots of diaper changes.

Then the wonderful 2 hour nap. Ah. This is when my brain attempts to tidy up the mess. It usually works. I(very quickly) pick up toys. This is usually where my first meal of the day comes in. Yay! And this is when I get to spend time with the little girls and sometimes the older kids. (But now, since it's summer break, ALOT more time with the older kids. I hope.)

After nap again, is a bit of a blur. We manage to go for a walk, play, snack, diaper change and fix dinner in a mere 2 hours. The evening goes much faster than the morning. I'm not sure why. Probably because that is when Aaron gets home to help. And yes, I watch the clock and the driveway ridiculously so.

Poor Aaron walks in the door to crying babies, fighting toddlers, dinner half cooked and a wife who was trying really hard to wear her white capris because she knows her husband likes them only they are covered in chocolate fingerprints, oatmeal chucks, and dirt from the playground, and he doesn't turn around and walk back out. I love him for that. I sure as heck would take a walk or 25 around the neighborhood if I had to come home to that every night. I can't decide if I am so used to it that I'm completely immune, or if it truly doesn't bother me and it just feels like it should.

Something to think about.

*sigh* Nighttime. *sigh*.

Don't get wrong, I love all 9 of my littles, but there is something just so calming and relaxing and AMAZING sitting downstairs, knitting, knowing that all my little loves are sleeping soundly upstairs. I guess it also helps too that it is another little 'Repair the Mommy-mess break'. And a 'visit with the husband time' and a 'make an entire sheet of brownies and eat half of it yourself with some vanilla ice cream' kinda time too. :)

My point, (I know, after 300 pages) is, that all-in-all, even after the really trying days, the grumpier than usual days and the crying all day long days, is that it's all so worth it. So, so, so, so worth it.

Even the Mommy-mess is worth it. Pretty sure the kids won't remember the fact that I never wear make-up. Or that I live in pants that have no zipper. Jeans are saved for a special occasion in my world.

So, that explains my life as I now know it. Pretty awesome huh?

(To be honest, I'm pretty dang proud that I held out on the combining all my childrens' names together for way more than 4 kids. I only recently started doing it. Yep. Proud of that. )

Pride 2011

2011-06-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

I added a new symbol/picture to my blog page. It's in support of the LGBTQ Community. ----->

Madeline and a friend are going to have a booth downtown at the annual Gay Pride Parade next weekend. They are going to make tye-dye tees, hemp bracelets and friendship bracelets. Madeline is pretty excited, and I am too! I'm going to load up the 5 littles and Juliette and I are going to go down and support the LGBTQ community and watch the parade.

I sure hope it's a good day. Some sun, but not too much heat would be nice. Good thing I have my super deluxe triplet stroller with the awesome sun canopy.

My first BIG outing (meaning not Target or Walmart) with all 5 and no help from another adult, although Juliette is my best helper she is still a kid.

This is where I beg for all the good luck vibes that I can get to be sent my way. Please, please, please.

And thanks. I'll update with how we do :)

Oh, and click here if you want more info on the Gay Pride organization.

Look-A-Likes Rosalie

2011-06-07T11:29:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the lag. I just do not know where my time goes. Oh, wait, yes I do. Triplets, toddlers, tweens and teens.

So, Aaron and I were looking at different types of puppy breeds because we always think that Rosalie has these beautiful 'puppy dog eyes'. And we found it. Rosalie's 'look-a-like'. And I think that it is just the cutest thing ever. Just like my Rose-bug.

I think the similarities were more prominant when she was a tiny little newbie but I still see it some. :)

Look-A-Likes Gwendolen

2011-05-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

Haha. This post has me chuckling already.

So, the other day we were discussing who the babies looked like. We came up with a few non-people answers. I thought it would be fun to post what we thought when we looked at the babies. I tried to do it with all the kids, but for some reason, it's only funny with babies.

Yep. She looks just like a Kewpie Doll. And she is just as sweet. My little 'Mommy'. Always heloful and very aware that she is a triplet. Always looking out for her sisters. This sweet girl such a joy to be a Mommy to.

18 & 118

2011-05-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

So this is an 'all about me' posting. I've noticed that since my sisters' accident, I'm seeing things a bit differently. Seeing life in a new light. The intention of my dreadlock journey was to learn patience. It's working. And the accident helped me to realize that along with patience comes acceptance, tolerance, love, wonder, joy, amazement, and tenacity. I'm sure there are many more descriptive words that I can come up with to describe LIFE. Feel free to add them on your comments! I would love to hear how people are perceiving their lives.

You know, people always say that it takes almost losing someone close to you to realize how much you love them? Almost losing my sister DID make me realize that, but it also made me realize that I have but this one life. One chance to live it how I want to live it. One chance to do things the way I want to do them and one change to teach my children about all the amazing things about life, our world and how to live each day to it's best. 'Don't sweat the small stuff'.

Today marks the day that I have been exclusively breastfeeding my triplets for 18 months. One and a half years. I have to say that it is my most proud accomplishment to date.

Today, I also counted my dreadlocks. I have 118. It's been 11 months. So, it appears that it takes longer to grow dreadlocks than it does to grow a baby. Hm. I know, odd way to think of it right? But easy for me, since growing babies, is something that I know.

In just 6 days, I'm going to be starting another project. A new tattoo. I have a few tats here and there but nothing of major significance that says "Hey! This is ME! Look here, let me tell you about ME".

This one will. I am starting on my lower back (with an existing piece) and moving along my ribs (Aaron's idea, so the pain better not be TOO bad) up my left back shoulder, around to the front and down my left arm, to make a sleeve. Yes, this will be another long-term project. I will add things here and there as I see things that peak my interest and that 'talk' to me.

I can't wait to share pictures of the piece. I feel really good about starting it. I'm downright excited actually.

So, to wrap it up. All is good. I'm good. Aaron is good. Kids are all good. Everyone is good. And the sun finally came out in our city. Someone must have kicked the sun dance into high gear because it actually worked this time.

The Last Few Weeks

2011-04-24T22:05:00.001-07:00

in a nutshell......

One horrific car accident. An ICU stay. Broken ribs, punctured lungs, dislocated hip, broken wrist & a broken knee/tib/fib, ruptured spleen. Another broken arm, dislocated foot, & sprained ankle. Heart attack & Pneumonia. Fat lips &bloody noses. Horror movie nursing home.

THAT has been my month.

It started with my aunts heart attack (she's ok now). Then my baby sister got in a horrific car accident that almost killed her. My grandpa, from all the stress was admitted into the hospital with chest pains (DX was anxiety and pneumonia). Gwendolen was knocked down by our very large dog, got a bloody nose and a fat lip. My mom, while in town to help with my sister, fell down and broke her ankle, then, the very next day, fell again and broke her arm and had to have surgery. Was going to recoup in a nursing home that was straight outta hell, so she ended up staying with us for a bit to recover. All the things listed above from 'An ICU stay, all the way to 'ruptured spleen' was my baby sister. (And for a little background, she is 13 years younger than me so I pretty much 'Mommied' her our whole lives. She was not quite 2 when Aaron and I met.)

My sister is now staying with us to recover from this accident. This accident almost killed her. My world was turned upside down. Almost losing my baby sister shocked me to my core. I realized how strong I am (hence the Superman post from last week) but it also made me realize how I handle tragedy and upheaval. All through the day of the accident, I did really good. I didn't cry. I didn't cry when I got that 5am phone call. I didn't cry when I held my sisters hand after her emergency surgery as she lay in the ICU. I didn't cry when I got home later that morning and had to continue on with our planned vacation, leaving my baby sister in that hospital. I didn't cry on the long drive to Sunriver, even after my other sister called to tell me about our Grandpa.

Then, I did cry. Exactly 17 hours later.

At our vacation home, with everything unpacked, kids finally all in bed, and the house silent. Aaron walked over to me. Asks if I'm ok. I say 'No, I'm not ok. I'm not ok at all' and collapse on the floor. And sob. Now, is my time to 'lose it'. Now that everyone else is taken care of, I can finally have my time to 'freak the f*ck out'. And Aaron held me as I cried. Have I mentioned lately how very much I love this man?

And it taught me something.

It gave me perspective.

Life is too short. LIVING is what's important. The little things matter. Yet they don't. Smiles and hugs matter. Spilled milk? Not so much. I know now, without a doubt, that family is more important that anything in this entire world. Don't wait to say things that need to be said. Don't wait to do things that you want to do. Don't waste precious time on negativity and stress. There is too much uncertainty in this world. In this life.

"Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last."

This song is for you Noelle. I love you so much. ♥And Tiffany and Michael, you both too. I am so lucky to have such an amazing family and even more amazing siblings.

~~Superman.

2011-04-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

There has been alot going on around here lately, hence the lack of the promised postings that haven't happened. I am trying to formulate a good blog post about the past 16 days, but for now I wanted to share a side of me that I didn't know would ever show up. The side that somewhere, along the way, in the past 2 years, has finally gained some confidence. True pride and confidence in who I've become and how I've gotten to where I am. Granted, with some upsets along the way and the still ever-changing things that I do to keep it 'mixed-up'. (You know, little things like tattoos, body piercings, dreadlocks, and complete changes in attitude and outlook).

All it took was the past 16 days of my life for me to actually REALIZE it.

Well, either that or I'm misunderstanding the 'signs' and it's more of an overwhelmed or a woe-is-me attitude, than one of confidence.

I'm going with confidence right now, or arrogance, whatever you want to call it. It's just my overall feeling in life right now.

This song puts it into words perfectly.

Quotes: A New Passion

2011-03-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

These days, I need motivation and inspiration. Life gets monotonous and dreary. I stay home all.damn.day. 24/7. Facebook is my friend. My connection with the outside world. Sad.

I've taken to finding quotes on the internet. I eventually want to get some to hand around the house so I spend time looking for ones that 'strike my fancy'. I decided to list some here, in one place for easier reference. I'm sure I will find more throughout the months. I will add them as I see ones I like :)

'All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.'

-T.E. Lawrence

Love doesn’t make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

- Franklin P. Jones

‎"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."

- C. S. Lewis

If we are to have real peace, we must begin with the children.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

- Albert Einstein

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within

-Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.

- Dalai Lama

Never live in the past but always learn from it.

- Anonymous

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.

- Anonymous

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

- Helen Keller

Be the change you want to see in the world

- Ghandi

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.

-George Washington Carver

A Budding Photographer

2011-03-25T13:29:00.001-07:00

We went to the park the other day. It seemed like it was warm enough until we got there. It was COLD. As you can see by the little red noses. These pictures were taken by my 11 year old daughter (and edited by me). I think she did a really really good job! Might have to get that girl a camera!

It's All In The Numbers

2011-03-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

It's overwhelming at times. When I have a rare 'down' moment, like now, to just sit and ponder 'stuff', numbers pop into my head. I think it's all the comments I get when out and about, the biggest one being "Oh.my.GAWD. How on earth do you do it" ? My answer is usually "What choice do I have"?

But then I start to think (uh-oh) and thinking usually gets me either A) satisfied or B)stressed. How DO I do it? I've no idea actually. I think I'm on auto-pilot most of the day. Which is why I forget alot of stuff.

As I was wrapping up the laundry this morning, the numbers started going through my head again. Laundry. An average of 24 loads per week. So, I decided to make a list of my 'numbers' for an entire week. We'll see if it leaves me satisfied or stressed.

Toilets scrubbed: 6

Sinks scrubbed: 7

Loads of laundry: 24

Diaper changes : 175 (!!!)

Dinners cooked : 4 (ok, so not one of my stronger points)

Breakfasts made: 35 (this is because the preschoolers are never hungry as early as the trio)

Diaper laundry: 7

Owies kissed: 25

Clothing changes for littles: 40 (again, the littles stay in PJ's most of the day unless we are headed out)

House vacuumed: 7

Floors mopped: 7

Windows washed: (at least the lower ones anyways) 5

Table wiped down: 21

etc..etc..etc...

Ok, so I started getting into the nitty gritty there at the end, but it makes me feel more accomplished. Kind of like my Facebook status for the day last week......

"I am not afraid to admit that I will add stuff to my "TO DO" list that I've already done just so that I have more to cross off, thus making myself feel more accomplished"

And it's true. Sometimes, my list will look like this:

TO DO

Laundry

Bathrooms 1 2 3

Vacuum downstairs

Vacuum upstairs

Shower

Go to Alberstons

Eat lunch

Pay bills

Make coffee

See? I put stuff that is a no-brainer, that I will do anyways, just to cross it off.

So, I guess all in all, I usually feel pretty satisfied.

Its all in the numbers.

One Whole Hand Old.....

2011-03-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

5. Annabel is 5. And she is so dern excited to be 5, it ain't even funny! She has been walking around the house all.day.long. with a HUGE smile on her face. It helps that her Aunt Elia took her and Delilah to Kids Club today to celebrate. So, her perma-grin should last most of the day. Kids Club earlier, and spaghetti and meatballs, gifts and sherbert when Daddy gets home.

Happy Happy Birthday My Sweet Little Annie-Bananie....You are the light of my life.

This Thing Called Friendship...

2011-03-15T12:17:00.001-07:00

It' something I used to think I did ok at. I mean, it's not easy juggling a household, a husband, kids, sometimes a job, grocery shopping, errands and then add in maintaining friendships while we're at it. Not easy, but vital. Especially to a mom. It's someone besides kids to talk to. Or besides the grocer. Or the mailman. I will say that since I was 16, Aaron has been, and always will be my very best friend. I think that's what makes our marriage work on any level. It seems we can go through anything and still come out laughing. Thank goodness, right?

And my sisters. They have been my life friends since they were born. That's a given. Lately, without them, I would have no true friends. And that is a sad, sad, thought.

My mom. Another friend that is pretty much a given.

What I'm talking about here is the people we meet either later in life, as adults, or people that you've stayed friends with since childhood. It seems, that once you grow up, the definition of friendship changes. Having daughters, I see this all the time. Fickleness. The drama. It makes me smile inside and thank the Gods that I am no longer in that stage of my life. It also makes me so thankful for the few true friends that I have that carried on since childhood. And most importantly, it makes me step back and look at the friendships that I've made as an adult. When I say friendships, I don't mean the people that you talk to here and there. Or have coffee with once in awhile. Of course, those people are your 'friends' in the truest sense of the word, but I am referring to the innate connection you make with people based on lifestyles, morals, values, beliefs and expectations. The people that you will never forget. The ones that somewhere along the way, made your life just that much easier, or better, or happier. The moments with those people that you will remember the rest of your life.

I've been fortunate enough to have a few of these people in my life. And (I'm going to pull the triplet card here) having triplets, has turned me selfish. That's right. I feel selfish. I am so in 'Nicoles' World" all the time, that I've forgotten how much these people mean to me. How much I love them and value their friendships. Lately. Crap, for the past 16 months, it's been how hard MY life is. How much MY life has changed, how difficult things are for ME. Well, I guess I could say US since I tend to lump my immediate family into the perspective but for arguments sake, I'm just going to say ME. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME. I've never been a ME person. Ever. I'm a listener. A problem solver. An sympathetic ear. A shoulder to cry on.

Used to be. Now, I've turned into someone who forgets everything, doesn't return phone calls and focuses her whole day on when I am going to get a break.

I do not like this 'new ME'.

I had been thinking of this posting for a few weeks now, but in my head, it wasn't written like this. I obviously needed a wake up call. This is what made me change my thoughts. And realize what a shitty friend I've been. (As a matter of fact, I'm not sure you can even used the words 'friend and Nicole' in the same context at this moment in time). And how I need to stop this damn pity party that I've been hosting for the past 2 years and realize that other people are going through their own shit too. It's not all about ME. My life is GOOD. I have an amazing husband. 9 beautiful kids. And yes, it's HARD. But I never once thought this would be a cakewalk so I'm not sure why I wasn't prepared for the mentalness of it all.

I have NINE healthy, beautiful, amazing babies. And the older 4 need me just as much as the younger 5. It's just a harder balancing act that I need to practice a bit more. I'm not doing so well at it lately. I guess I can lump that under the 'Crappy Friend' category and just work on it all at once.

It's about time I start focusing on the positive and not the negative.

It's about time that I realize that I am needed for being Nicole and not just Mom.

It's about time that I start enjoying my life and all my babies before they are grown and gone.

It's about time that I make these friendships a priority in my life.

And it's about time that I revalue my friendships and go back to being the kind of friend that I used to be. Or at least, the kind of friend that I always tried so hard to be. The kind, compassionate, listener that I would want of a friend.

So, for those of you (family and friends included) affected by my selfishness the past 2 years, first of all, thank you for your love and support through everything.

Secondly, a huge apology for my selfishness and pity bullsh** the past 2 years.

And to those of you that will want to comment how 'it's ok. 'It's understandable' and how I 'Need to not be so hard on myself'......

Nuh-uh. Not gonna fly for me this time. I'm not looking for more pity or for the 'It's ok's'.

I'm looking to change. Or go back, however you want to look at it.

Right now. Today.

And I do realize, after re-reading this post, that again, the 'poor me' started seeping through. Seems it won't be an instant change. More of a work in progress I suppose.

Not My Style

2011-03-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

A van. I just couldn't do it. I tried so.damn.hard. But I just cannot drive a 12 passenger van. Can't. Won't. Call it what you will, but it ain't happening. We did find one. We brought it home to check it over before we brought it to the mechanics to inspect it. And can I just say that when it failed the inspection, my heart sang just a little? I know, bad. This is how the 'not-gonna-ever-ever-drive-a-van conversation went between Aaron and I: (as we are driving to pick up the van from the shop)

Me: Soooo.

Aaron: Soooo....

Me: What now? Keep hunting?

Aaron: I dunno. What do you wanna do?

Me: I duuno. What do YOU wanna do?

Aaron: Welllll, I guess we keep looking.

Me: Ok, REALLY? Do we really have to? I mean, honestly. Did YOU like driving that thing? Cuz I didn't. I felt like I was going to puke when it was sitting in our driveway. Literally. Spending 10k on THAT was making me physically ill. I am SO HAPPY that it failed the inspection. *sigh* There. I said it. NOW what?

Aaron: Me too!! I hated driving it! I thought it was what YOU wanted.

Me: Not anymore. I want something that I love. A van? Not so much.

Aaron: Good. We'll figure out something else then.

I ♥ my husband.

So, what did we get? A 2000 Ford Excursion. (that we paid cash for, I might add. We are VERY proud of that since we are trying to get rid of all debt)

I know. Not the most 'green' vehicle, fuel wise, but. It works for us. Our only seats 8 right now, but we are adding a 4th row bench and a seat in the middle front ( making the front a bench seat,

just for the 'in a pinch' times. Our older 2 kids usually want to drive themselves everywhere anyways.

So, we won't all be able to ride together places, but oh well.

I'll post pics of our new car later. I love it. And it's red. I seem to have taken a fancy to red cars lately. Not sure why.

An Old Friend

2011-03-05T23:35:00.001-08:00

I have a friend, Heidi, that I have known for almost 30 years now. THIRTY YEARS.

The other day, she asked me to write a post for her blog about how her daughters' recent illness has impacted my life.

You can read it here, at A Work In Progress. She is a great writer and has lots to say.

I'm thinking that a post on Friendship would be fun.

Now, let's just see if I can manage to do one :/.

A New Low.

2011-02-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

Even for me. Almost ONE MONTH of no posts! ONE MONTH. I'm actually really disappointed in myself. I love writing and I just haven't gotten around to it. Pathetic, I know. My only 'real' excuse? My laptop was broken and the only down time I get is when the babies are nursing. So I blog and nurse. With the laptop broken, I got no blogging done. So, there. That is my only excuse.

Now. What's up? Let me sum it up, as best I can, in a big run-down.

Aaron is working, He loves his job. And although, the economy seems to have finally hit his business, we are still just making it. So we are O.k. I am working. At home. And boy is having 3 triplets that now RUN, is WORK. Yeah, I didn't even blog about their first steps. I wonder why? Was I just too busy to get around to posting it or deep down, was I just insanely fearful that if I even WROTE about it, it would be true and then it really would happen. Well, turns out, it didn't matter. They still did it. They now walk, run and jump. Ok, so they don't JUMP but they do like to do little bunny hops. So, what that all means is that Mama doesn't sit down either. At least I seem to be finally getting down to pre-triplet baby weight.

*Madeline. Working part time at Ikea. Going to school full time to get her business degree. And she has a boyfriend. Has for while now. And he is a great guy! *Joseph. Soccer. And school. Running Start through the college while getting his high school credits AND college credits. Great program. Joseph has a girlfriend. A super sweet girl. I love having her around. *Noah. 2 words. Basket.Ball. Obsessed. Literally. Watches, plays, attends. You name it. His favorite team is the Celtics. Pretty sure we had a Celtics themed Christmas this year. *Juliette. Basketball too. *le sigh* It seems the soccer is slowly running out of their blood. Juliette also went back to public school. I know that homeschooling does not lack in socializing but man, that girl was DYING to get back to Miss Chatty with her friends. So she's back at public school. *Annabel. Hm. Annabel is very busy showing us that she too, has a wild side. Aaron says it nice to see her sticking up for herself finally. I remind him that sticking up for yourself means acting AFTER someone did something to you. Not before. Oh yeah, right? *Delilah. Sweet sweet Delilah. 3 and as sweet as ever. Happy. Curious and her best friend is Annabel. I love watching their bond. *Rosalie. Rosalie. Yep. Rosalie. Her smile makes me laugh and her laugh makes me giggle. She is b.u.s.y. She climbs. She explores EVERYTHING and her most favorite activity is dipping plastic toy spoons into the dogs water dish and licking them. Yummmm-mmy. *Gwendolen. This baby has more facial expressions that I've ever seen. I predict she will be very artistic with how in tune she is to the world around her. *Emilia. Lovely Emilia. An old soul. Crazy vocal and yet quietly observant. So eager to please and the first to laugh hysterically at something only the 3 of them understand.

That's it up to today. My life in a nutshell. Oh, and don't forget 2 dogs a ferret and a cat. They are all good. Bella, going on 11 years old now is slow to get up and slow to walk. Our little tootsie roll, she's just hanging in there. Milo. Our amazing Mastiff. My new love. My 'baby boy'. Lily, my 14 year old Persian. Her favorite new game is taunting Milo. Imagine it, a 100# mastiff getting his ass kicked by a 6# Persian. Yep. It happens daily in my house. It's great entertainment for the tots. Alice. The ferret. Still sweet and still hysterical, Seems she can kick Milo's ass too. Never seen him jump back so far in his life.

What's coming up? Van hunting, Spring Break annual vacation, and Annie's birthday and I'm sure a TON of things in between.

As for me, I'm going to try to get back into blogging more. I need to focus on clearing a spot in my brain dedicated to just this. Pretty sure I was less stressed when I was writing. Then again, the triplets weren't walking a month ago :/.

xoxoxo

Happy 3rd Birthday Delilah

2011-01-28T19:53:00.000-08:00

My how you've grown! Such a beautiful, sweet little girl. A loving big sister and the happiest little sister. You make our family so special.

Lilah loved being snuggled. 8 days old being worn in a Moby wrap.

Lilah at 4 months

Lilah at 10 months

Lilah at 13 months

Lilah at 18 months

Lilah tonight. Soooooo excited to be THREE!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY LILAH-LOO.

1.11.11

2011-01-11T14:00:00.001-08:00

Well, there is it ---------------------------------------------}

The link to my Flickr. I'm also going to post a link to the actual 365 Project page in a bit. I'm going to add my project to the actual website.

But that will have to wait until the next naptime. Babies are up :)

Enjoy.

365 Project

2011-01-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm late to the game. But I also haven't blogged in almost a month so what do you expect? :)

Life is getting busy. Did I say busy? Sorry, I meant B.U.S.Y.

The holidays are over, life is resuming and it seems it is flashing before my eyes. The babies are *almost* walking. Madeline is in her 2nd year of college, Joseph has started a bit of college, Noah got a cell phone, Juliette decided to grow dreadlocks, Annabel will be 5 soon and Delilah is almost 3. THREE. All my babies are growing up and I don't LIKE IT AT ALL.

Hence, the 365 Project. This will, hopefully, be a way for me to look back on this year and smile instead of panic that everything is happening way.too.fast. People have been doing these for a long time, but as usual, I'm slow.

What is it? It's a commitment to you to take a picture every day. And document it. It doesn't matter what it's of. It can be anything. You, your children, the yard, your dog. Take your camera with you to Starbucks. Take a walk, take your camera. Have a Dr's appointment? Take your camera. You don't even have to record it every day, do it once or twice a week. Cant take a picture every day? How about Project 52? Once a week. That's not too hard, right?

I'm starting my Project 365 on 1.11.11. This date has significance for me in that it was my Great-Grandmas' birthday. Nanny was born on January 11th, 1911 and was the 11th child born into her family. I've always thought that was really cool. It seemed a very good day to start. I will be setting up a Flickr page to post all the pictures, so when I do, I'll link it here on my blog.

I think, I hope, it will be not only fun, but thought provoking and memorable.

Some links on information about the project:

My Inspiration

Hints and Tips

Example of a Project

Starting a 365 Project in the New Year

So, if you decide to do one, send me a link to it in the comments on this page, I would LOVE to see it!

It's Been A Long Crazy Road....

2010-12-12T12:24:00.001-08:00

but oh so worth it. 18 years and 9 kids later, Aaron is still my best friend and the love of my life.

I think back to the day that started it all. It was Halloween. A phone call. And a first date. That night changed my entire life. I think I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Aaron. Weird right? I mean, we were only 16 years old. SIXTEEN. So young. So happy. AND WE STILL ARE. That's the crazy part. Seems we are in it for the long haul. I guess after 9 kids we better be, right? :)

I have now been married to Aaron longer than I had been on this earth when we first started dating. I have spent more than half of my life with him. I know nothing but being with him. And I can't imagine any other life. All of my dreams have come true.

Happy 18th Anniversary babe, I love you more than you will ever know ♥

Endless Love..Our Wedding Song

Thrift Store Shopping

2010-12-09T12:32:00.001-08:00

I am an admitted 'deal seeker'. I always have been. Even before we had 9 kids, I always looked for the sales, coupons and specials. Aaron loves it but our views of the justification is a bit different. See, I figure, if I find it for half price, then I can buy 2. Aaron doesn't agree. He thinks if you find it at half price, then you saved half and it's more money for something else. We tend to agree to disagree on this one.

My favorite stores are usually consignment stores. These are stores that take in quality used (and new) clothing in exchange for a percentage of their sales in cash or store credit. I get most of the younger kids clothing at a local consignment store called Denim & Frills. I get name brand, gently used clothes for about 70% less than new. It's my treasure hunting.

My latest score at Denim & Frills was a pair of Uggs for the babies. I had 2 pair of these Uggs, but of course needed a 3rd. Found them! For $14.99. Retail price? $119.00. Just like winning the lottery for me.

Last night, I went to the Goodwill Outlet for the first time. I didn't have high hopes as I walked in and saw bins of clothing just randomly tossed in. I usually don't like to 'dig'. But, since I was there, and I saw that the clothing was sold BY THE POUND, I decided to do just that. DIG IN. And I was IN HEAVEN.

So, clothes aren't super heavy. Which means $1.59 per pound is a pretty good deal. A VERY good deal. My take in the 45 minutes that I had before they closed? (Next time I will allow ALOT more time. Plus, I have a baby scale at home so I weighed a few things just to get an idea of how much each item was)

Mens REI shirt for Aaron..$.89
Columbia Sportswear shirt for Aaron...$1.34
Tommy Hilfiger polo for Aaron...$1.98
Columbia sportswear coat for Juliette...$1.02
Naartjie outfit for Delilah...$.81
4 pairs of Carters PJ's for the babies...$1.40 TOTAL
Old Navy Henley for Joey...$1.23
Mossimo wool sweater for me...$2.02
Fleece GAP pants for Delilah...$.42
Cordurouy coat for Madeline...$2.45
Disney store PJ pants for Juliette...$.60

All of it stain and hole free!! Aaron was super impressed. He even wore the REI shirt to work today, it's THAT nice. (Of course I washed everything last night)

And that is just a FEW things. I got 17 pounds of clothes for $23.00!!! Do you know how much 17 pounds of clothing is? Considering the heaviest item was the cord coat and it weighed just 1#6oz, it's alot. Trust me.

Looks like I found a new shopping place :)

Breastfeeding Baby Jesus

2010-11-27T22:52:00.000-08:00

A friend posted this video on Facebook and I just had to share it here too. It is so beautiful. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then these pictures may leave you speechless.

Taken From Another Blog...

2010-11-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

but it is so perfect, I had to share. It's from this blog, Mama Birth.

Humbling Moment #547: Women With More Than One Child Are Not Actually Crazy

" Maybe you have been there. I remember having my one toddler. I was so patient. So kind. He was always breastfed to sleep. He was worn in a sling. He was loved all the time. He never cried for long periods. I was such a great mom. It was nice.

I remember seeing other women with two or more children. "Why are they so crazy?" I would ask myself. "Why are they so overwhelmed?" Or a really great one, "Why do they keep having kids when they don't seem to be handling the ones they have that well?"

Bwaaaahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahah!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just needed to take a moment to laugh out loud at myself and my total arrogance and lack of understanding.

Fast forward. I now have three. There will be another one this summer. OH MY GOSH! Four kids.

I actually once saw a friend of mine take a tranquilizer because she was having such a hard time with her kids. I think I was just kind of in shock.

I get it now. I am not saying I take tranquilizers, just that I UNDERSTAND why you might want to on certain days. Just saying.

When you have more than one child you start to learn a few things:

~ You are not a perfect mom. Maybe with one you were. But not with three, and sure as heck not when you are full term and have a few others who can easily outrun you. Yelling starts to look REAL good.

~The first one (or second or third) was just easy. You were not actually doing everything right. It was actually just the child. (Oops on all the times you gave other women advice on how to get their baby to sleep through the night, huh?!) No, you don't have any special knowledge, you just got lucky.

~The other one, was just hard. You did not do anything terribly and horribly wrong. Neither did that friend you had with the "naughty" or "out of control" toddler. It was just a harder child or a difficult stage and you were just seeing them at a bad moment.

~Everybody has bad moments. You might have to have a few kids before you see yourself have a bad moment. But wait, it is coming. Sometimes you see a mom in one of her horrid moments. Don't judge her. It is just a MOMENT. She is not actually crazy and it will pass.

~Even though you appear nuts, you love your kids and want MORE. Yes, your hands are full. No you can not afford them. Yes, you sometimes mix up their names. This is not actually an indicator that you have trudged too far down the path of insanity. It is just LIFE. And life can be hard, but children are still awesome. You see the beautiful moments, where everybody gets along and where there is just a touch of the divine in your home.

~There is a reason women with more than one child say things like, "Yes, but I have 4 kids!" like it is an accomplishment. Or the other thing those mom's say, "You only have one."
They are not actually trying to insult you. They just know that with only one child there are a few things that you might not understand yet. And the whole. "I have X amount of kids comment," well, it is kind of an accomplishment. And it does explain some things in your life. Like the the messy purse/car/ or emotional state.

So, to all those mom's out there who I looked at with horror as you yelled or lost patience or cried in public. I apologize. I get it. I am getting mine. Thank you for actually making it look easier than it really is. "

The bolded is my favorite one.

FAV.OR.ITE.

I 'get' this mama on every level.

365 Days Of Triplets

2010-11-20T23:47:00.000-08:00

I put together a slideshow instead of separate pictures. They are pretty much in age order. For the most part :) I haven't watched the whole thing yet. I keep crying :/

Rosalie Charlotte, Gwendolen Lucy & Emilia Jane

♥ Happy First Year Beautiful Girls ♥

1st Bday - slideshow dvd

ONE WHOLE YEAR

2010-11-19T22:50:00.000-08:00

'hapy Birth Day to you....
happy Birth Day to you.....
happy Birth Day my dear Rosalie, Gwendolen & Emilia....
happy Birth Day to youuuuuuuu......'

365 days ago, our beautiful baby girls were welcomed earthside.

365 days ago, I became the mama to 9.

365 days ago, our love grew even stronger.

365 days ago, I felt my heart grow even larger.

365 days ago, our lives changed forever.

365 days ago, I finally felt whole.

365 days ago, we held 3 amazing miracles.

365 days ago, I smiled from my soul.

365 days ago, our hearts and souls formed a circle of 11.

365 days ago, I was happier than ever before.

365 days ago, our lives became complete.

I honestly never thought I would marry that 16 year old boy that called me on Halloween night and asked me out on a date. And I surely never dreamed I would carry 9 of his children earthside and 4 in my heart.

But wishes DO come true. I always wanted to be a mother. Always. That was the only life that felt right to me. For as long as I can remember.

I also always dreamed of having twins. I guess the longer you've wished for something, it multiplies. Thrice. I have my forever wish of twins plus a bonus of 1 more.

The Triskelon tattoo that I have, 13 tiny Triskelon running in a chain along my arm and one in the middle of my back may (or not) have something to do with it. In fact, I have no doubt it does.

Triskelon:

The three protrusions (legs, angles, branches, etc) are of significant symbolic importance. However, depending upon the era, region, culture, mythological history, etc...symbologists can have a challenging time defining the exact symbolic meaning of the three protrusions. The various representations of the three protrusions found in the triskelion include:

Spirit, Mind, Body
Father, Son, Holy Ghost
Mother, Father, Child
Past, Present, Future
Power, Intellect, Love
Creator, Destroyer, Sustainer
Creation, Preservation, Destruction

The Power of 3.

I just may have sealed our lives with some ink trailing my arm.

Happy Birth Day my beautiful baby girls.

Happy Birthing Day to me.

Happy Blessings to us all.

I'll post some then and now pictures within the next few days. :)

Fabric. Fabric. I Love Fabric.

2010-11-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

Probably more than I love yarn (did I just say that outloud?!). I can, I kid you not, sit on the computer and look at fabric sites for HOURS. I (pretend to) fill up my cart full of beautiful fabrics by the yard. I have all these visions of things I want to make. In my dream world of more time to sit and sew, more money to buy the fabric and of course, more sewing talent.

I have 2 machine. My Grandma gave me one before she died, its in a cabinet and is pretty fancy for the year (I think it's a 70's Singer). I also have a 1958 black metal Singer that I LOVE. It's nothing fancy. Goes forward and backward but it does it so smoothly. It's easy to use and it gets good results. I tried a Serger and it was WAY too technical for me. I don't have the time/patience to learn something new right now.

I've actually only ever made a few things. 3 years ago, I made fleece pajama pants for all my kids for Christmas. 2 years ago, when we went to Sunriver, I hauled my machine with me and I made a huge bunch of pants for Annabel and Cassidy (my niece). I've also sewn a baby clutch ball toy some baby shoes, skirts, peasant tops, and a bag/purse.

I am by no means, an expert seamstress. But, I do like the more instant gratification of sewing versus knitting. Knitting a pair of pants takes me days. Heck, weeks lately. Sewing a pair of pants takes me an hour. And that is for reversible ones. And lately, with my daily schedule, instant results are so satisfying.

That fabric above will soon be 6 pairs of reversible pants for the triplets!

He's Here!

2010-10-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

We brought him home yesterday. He is wonderful. Only one change. His name. We got him home and Atticus just wasn't working for us. Meet.....

♥ Milo Finnegan Augustus ♥

Yes, he has 3 names. That's what happens when 11 people have to agree on 1 name.

We'll just be calling him Milo.

Right now, he is 7.5 weeks old. He weighs 20#11oz.

He had a wonderful first day/night. No accidents, he actually goes to the door and tries to ring his bell to go out. He slept from Midnight to 7am in his crate without an accident or crying. He is so so good with the babies. He does try to play with them or lick them but he doesn't get crazy with them. Rosalie loves him and tries to play with him. Gwendolen loves him from afar and Emilia is just downright scared of him. If a baby cries when he comes near them, he just turns and walks away. He is THE PERFECT PUPPY. Annabel and Delilah are in love and play with him constantly. As for the other kids, it pretty much goes without saying that they all love him. He sleeps in his crate in the boys room so they can help with him at night. Madeline and Juliette love to just snuggle with him.

And Aaron? Yes, Aaron loves him a ton. Milo was outside with him all morning 'helping' with yard work. Milo follows Aaron around like a baby duck.

It's beyond cute. He is beyond cute.

It's A BOY!

2010-10-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

No, we aren't pregnant. GOOD GRIEF. Can you imagine? I can't.

We are getting a new PUPPY! He gets to come home with us on Halloween. He is an Old English Mastiff. Aaron really really loves the massive size of these guys :)

He will be a LARGE LARGE boy :)

No, we are not crazy. True, we have 9 children, 2 cats, a labrador and a ferret already. But our Lab is 11 years old. We are firm believers that children need to grow up with animals in their home. Since Isabella is getting older, we want a dog that the toddlers and triplets can grow with too. We did alot of research and decided on this breed.

" The Mastiff is a very massive, powerful, muscular dog. They are often called a gentle giant. A born guard dog, they rarely bark, but it is in its nature to defend their territory and family, and is more a silent guard rather than a barker. When an intruder is caught they are more likely to hold them at bay, either by trapping them in a corner or laying on top of them rather than an all out attack. You do not need to train them to guard. No matter how friendly they are, if they sense danger they will naturally guard on their own unless the owners are there to tell them otherwise. Self-confident and watchful, they are patient and considered excellent with children. Intelligent, calm, even-tempered and docile."

His name is Atticus.

This is a picture of his Mom(Far left) and Grandpa. Atticus comes from the lineage of the dog from the movie The Sandlot. That dog is his great great grandpa. Pretty cool huh?

Look at that face!Joseph and Atticus Awwwwwwww......

Annabel and Atticus Delilah and Atticus

Some Updated Pictures Of The Trio

2010-10-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

I've been too busy lately to even think about breathing so blogging isn't getting much attention lately.

2 of the babies are CRAWLING. They are MOBILE. So, what that means is that Mommy can't sit down. Ever. My Mia must know that I'll go nuts once they are all moving so she's just taking her own sweet time. Thank you baby. :)

So, pictures. Showing off the babies, and my mad knitting skills :) Oh, and a special thank you to Kim for knitting that last pair of blue longies for me. I just couldn't do it. Not if I wanted them to actually fit the girls by the time they got done.

Making A Change..One Reader At A Time

2010-09-30T09:36:00.000-07:00

When I started writing this blog, it was to keep family and friends informed of the goings-on in our lives. I honestly didn't think I would keep it up this long. My grandma even said to me a few months ago 'Your still doing that blog thing?'

I surprised myself by liking 'the blog thing'.

I like writing. Alot. I always have. And I like sharing all the things I have learned about these past few years. And I like to brag about my kids. Who doesn't? I like to feel that I might be making a difference, even if it's just about something small. Even if one baby boy isn't circumcised because someone read my blog, if one more mama tries cloth diapers, if there are more people becoming informed before vaccinating their babies, if one more baby is breastfed. Even if I made someone think, or smile, or change something they have been wanting to change but didn't know how.

Today, I discovered another blog to read and follow. This man really makes me think. And smile. And think some more. This dad makes you look deeper inside of who and what you really are. This dad makes you believe he can change the world. One follower at a time.

Read his blog. Check it once a day. See if he's posted. You never know when what he writes this day will make a difference in your life. In your day this day, this hour, this minute. It's like a daily dose of LIFE. Read it with your morning coffee or read it at your babies naptime. Read it after your kids to bed. Read it and apply it to YOUR life. Let his writing make you think.

Cloth Diapering

2010-09-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

*Picture borrowed from the internet

I started using cloth diapers regularly when Annabel was a baby. I had friends who used cloth, it looked interesting, so I gave it a shot.

Almost 5 years later, I am hooked. Addicted. No going back. So addicted, in fact, I don't look forward to potty learning. Seriously. I love seeing my babies laying, scooting, crawling and toddling around in their little cloth diapered bums. I love that no nasty chemicals are on their skin. And I love that we aren't contributing to filling a landfill with dirty disposable diapers.

Some quick (cloth) diaper(ing) facts:

*More than 3 million tons of diapers go into US landfills each year

* Disposable diapers take 1 cup of crude oil each to make and will sit in our landfills for 500+ years.

*Families using disposable diapers will spend $2500-3000 diapering one child, compared to $500-600 using cloth diapers. ) Multiply that by THREE for us, or even FIVE. Yikes!

*The average cloth diaper stash cost around $350. Total.

*You can expect to change your babys' diaper up to 4700 times from birth to potty learning.

Even more interesting facts about cloth vs. disposables

There are alot of different types of diapering 'systems'. AIO (All-in-one), AI2 (All-in-2's), fitteds,
pockets, and prefolds. There are also alot of ways to cover the diapers. PUL covers, fleece covers. wool covers and coverless.

Plus, on various sites on the internet, you can buy, sell and trade your used diapering supplies saving you even MORE money. Now, how is that not a good thing??

I was going to post information on each diaper style, but decided instead to just include links. These are good resources that I found by googling. They do a much better job at explaining things in depth than I could possibly do.

AIO/AI2's

Fitteds

Pockets

Flats and Prefolds

More cloth diapering websites

The Diaper Jungle TONS of great info here...

Cloth Planet

Cloth Diapering Myths

We use mostly fitteds, with some prefolds and flats. I really like fitteds. Alot. Our stash consists of Goodmamas' and Sticky Peas. For prefolds, I like these.

I also see alot of cloth diapering supplies on these awesome sites: MamaBargains, GreenBabyBargains, BabyHalfOff and BabySteals. Watch them daily, they sell out FAST! (they also have other good stuff, good sites to save to your favorites)

Of course, when you use fitteds and prefolds, you need covers. We use Thirsties Duo Wraps, knitted wool pants and interlock wool. Some great sites for knitted wool, interlock wool and recycled wool are Hyena Cart, Sloomb and Woollybottoms.

You can even knit your own or make your own with recycled sweaters!

This Mama has a blog page with tons of tips on how to save even more money!

I keep my diapers in a dry pail with no lid. (I just bought a small garbage pail at Target) I dump and rinse the poopies in the toilet, then put them in the pail. Pee diapers go right into the pail. I used to use a lid but I found that it holds in the smell even worse making them harder to clean. I use the oxygen to my advantage by not using a lid on the pail. It helps the smell to dissipate and makes the washing machine have to work a little less hard. And, believe it or not, you cannot smell the diapers in the pail. At all. And trust me, if it smelled, Aaron would tell me. He has a very sensitive nose.

Washing those diapers.....When I first started, getting a washing routine down was tricky. You don't want to use a laundry detergent. They have alot of chemicals and residues in them. You want something really simple, basic and that rinses clean When your diapers come out of the wash, smell them. You should smell water. Not soap, not perfumes, just 'nothing'. Some of the things that I have heard that people use for their diapers are Tide, Simple Green, Baking Soda, Charlies, and Dawn Dish Soap to name a few. I've personally tried them all. The *only thing (until recently) that worked in my front loader was Dawn Dish Soap. It's the only thing that left zero residue on the diapers. Everything else left a build up that caused irritation on my babys' bums. The only place I found Dawn Dish Soap was Wal-Mart. You have to use the ORIGINAL Dawn, NOT the ultra concentrated.

*recently I discovered Maylees Garden All Natural Soap, This.stuff.ROCKS. So much, in fact, we now use it on ALL our laundry. It makes everything SO SOFT. And you only need 1tsp. per load for a front loader!

My washing routine (keep in mind this is with a front loader). I do a load every single night. With triplets, I have to. You usually want to wash at least every 2-3 nights. My loads usually consist of about 15-18 diapers.

This is what I do:

Double rinse on cold/cold (22 mins on my machine)
HOT wash on a heavy soil cycle with a stain cycle added (85 mins on my machine)
Double rinse on cold/cold again
Max extract button to lessen drying time

I usually toss them in the dryer, it's faster and gets them softer, but sometimes I'll line dry. Especially with stains, the sun will bleach out any stains you might get.

Just remember, DO NOT use fabric softeners. They will leave a horrible build-up on your diapers. And then your diapers WILL STINK.

If you get stink issues, you can add a few splashes of Apple Cider Vinegar to the wash and/or rinse cycle a few times. You can also add a capful of bleach to the wash. I do this occasionally (maybe once a month) just to keep on top of any stinkies that might start up. A bit of baking soda here and there is good too, I just didn't find that it alone cleaned the diapers well enough.

Whew. Ok. I think that covers everything.

Cloth diapering is not only alot of fun, it's good for your baby AND our environment!

Too Important To NOT Post.....

2010-09-15T14:40:00.001-07:00

Given the 'hype' over this illness and vaccine while I was pregnant with the triplets, I blogged about it here.

And now, I am thanking the Gods that I made the decision that I did.

Now, who's shocked at this news? Not I.

H1N1 Vaccine Causes 3,587 Miscarriages and Stillbirths

Just one more validation for my decision to NOT vaccinate my children. Or my family.

Once again, PLEASE do your research before you vaccinate. Please.

Vaccines

2010-09-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

Another one of those 'my views have completely changed' post.

I just did it because that's 'What you do'. Wrong.

Again, there is so much more that can be written on this topic, and I am not an expert. I'm still stumbling along, trying to do what in the best interests of my child. All I have is some experience to go on and the reading I've done thus far. And my conclusion to date is that I don't yet know enough to do something to my child that is irreversible. Injecting a vaccine into my child cannot be taken back. I need to know fully and completely what I'm doing BEFORE I do it. So I am still learning. And reading. And stumbling. I'm sharing what I know SO FAR. I still have so much more to learn. And until I am SURE, I will err on the side of caution. There is also a ton more info out there that I didn't include. It would take pages upon pages. So please, read what I have and do your own, more thorough research if that is what you choose.

Vaccinations. Again, I've been on both sides of the fence on this one. My 4 older kids are fully vaxed. On schedule. To.the.day. Gods forbid if we were even one day late on a vaccination, who knows what would happen!

This WAS how I thought. I also naively thought that the world also had my childs' best interests at heart, as I did. I mean, truly, who would PURPOSELY inject a baby with toxic chemicals unless it was for her good? Alot of people it seems.

My 4 older kids, were always sick with some common childhood ailment. Ear infections, colds and runny noses. Joey suffered from night terrors and migraines. It seemed it was always something. My kids always seemed sick.

Then along comes Annabel and I start to get smart(er). She had birth, 2 month and 4 month vaxs'. Then we stopped. I started researching and thinking. And noticing how much less Annabel seemed to get sick than her siblings.

Delilah. We decided to selectively vaccinate. VERY selectively. She's had one vaccine. A few months ago. She will be 3 in January. No ear infections or runny noses. 2 fevers from which she recovered from without incident, in less than 24 hours. She's been really sick once. At the age of 6 months. With Pertussis. Whooping cough. That she got FROM HER FULLY VACCINATED BROTHER. And you know what? It sucked, but it wasn't the end of the world. We treated her with homeopathic medicines and she coughed badly for maybe a week. And now, her body has a life-long immunity to the disease. A GOOD immunity. Not a fabricated one. Not one that she will have to get 'boostered' every 10 years. This 'experience' is what truly got me thinking. I have first hand experience of a vaccine fail.

The triplets. Not a single vaccine yet. They are 10 months old. None of them have had so much as a runny nose. They've been to the Dr. for 'well-child checks' 4 times. I was told to prepare for alot of illness because they are preemies. Hm. Nope.

I believe this is more than a mere coincidence. True, breastfeeding takes alot of the credit, but so does that fact that my younger childrens' bodies aren't pumped full of toxic chemicals that we are told is 'not going to hurt them'.

Right. Because putting these chemicals into your 7# baby can't possibly do him any harm.

Ammonia
Formaldehyde
thimerasol
bovine animal parts
sheep red blood cells
chick embryo
human diploid cells (from aborted fetal tissue)
embryonic fluid (chicken egg)
VERO cells, a continuous line of monkey kidney cells
sorbitol
calf serum
fetal monkey lung cells
fetal bovine serum
aluminum hydroxide

And that is just to name a few.

Now, I am not totally anti-vaccine. Yet. Or, at least, I'm trying not to be without validation. I'm trying really hard to keep an open mind, but to be honest, the more research I do, the more I am leaning towards being 100% anti-vaccine. As it stands right now, I partially feel that the reason alot of these diseases were eradicated was because of vaccines. I do *think* that I fear that if we stop vaccinating, the diseases could come back. But I'm wavering. In part due to alot of the reading I've been doing on herd-immunity and the general effectiveness of most vaccinations. I do think that we vaccinate too much, too early. Our babies tiny bodies should not be injected with all those chemicals so soon. If at all. IF AT ALL.

Just a few of the thoughts that swim around in my head on a daily basis:

*Why is the SIDS rate highest between months 2-6? Is it coincidence that at months 2, 4 and 6 our babies get the most vaccines?

*If vaccines are so safe, why do we have a Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting Database?

*We also have a National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act. Why is it necessary if vaccines are so safe?

*Why is it that Pharmaceutical companies make so much money? The least regulated and highest paid business in America. Why?

*How is it that my non-vaxed kids are healthier than my vaxed ones?

*Why do they keep adding more and more vaccines. Every year?

*Do they really test them? I mean, the H1N1 vaccine was available as fast as your head could spin. Now it's being recalled.

My favorite part upon hearing that my children are not vaxed is the vaxing parents that say " Your child is going to get my child sick. You don't vaccinate which means he/she will get the diseases". My response, "Really? But I thought your child was vaccinated? If your child is supposedly protected against the diseases that my child could have, what are you so worried about"?

It's common sense.

And Autism. I won't get completely into that, as I don't have an autistic child, but look at the graph at the top of the page. I believe that says alot. Our children today are OVER-VACCINATED whether you vaccinate or not. It's TOO MUCH.

A few good books by doctors to read that give a good overview either way : Stephanie Cave , Robert Sears , Neil Miller and Robert Mendelsohn. They give good info, a list of ingredients, their personal opinions on each vaccine and an alternative schedule for those who choose to vaccinate selectively. All these books helped me alot as I was trying to make such important decisions.

Also, some very good articles on varying levels of thought:

Challenging The Theory Of Artificial Immunity

Aborted Human Cells: The Solyent Green Of Vaccines (from a friend's blog, broken down in easier0-to-understand language)

Thimerosol Content In Some US Vaccines

NVIC

VaccineInfo.net

CDC Info

Reported Cases & Deaths From Vaccine Preventable Diseases

VAERS

Some stories about personal vaccine reactions

CDC Mobidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR)

PLEASE remember that I am only sharing the little bit of information that I have. There is a plethora of information out there. My intention with this post is to merely plant the seed of thought. Do your research before you vaccinate. They cannot be undone. You can always do the vaccine later, you cannot undo any damage that may have been done. On the other side of thought is that if you do choose not to vaccinate, you do so with the knowledge that your child may or may not get one of these diseases. In my opinion, a disease that is fully treatable in todays medical society. Vaccines are not an issue to be taken lightly. Research thoroughly no matter what way you road you choose to take. As for me, my children will not be getting any vaccinations until I am 100% sure. And it's looking like that may be never.

Also, please remember that vaccines ARE A CHOICE. Nobody can force you to vaccinate your child. Here is a chart that tells you, state by state, what is legal in your particular state. States allow either religious, medical or philosophical exemptions. Know yours.

*another thank you to Guggie Daly for sharing all her vaccine info so that others can share it too!

Yep, Still Breastfeeding!

2010-09-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

I figured it's been awhile since I've blogged about how we are doing with breastfeeding. I've had alot of people ask me "How DO you do it?". So, now that the girls and I are very well established in our breastfeeding relationship, I can share more. And hopefully this post will help, motivate and inspire more women to breastfeed. Even and especially MoM's. I blogged here about it. And here. And here. And I'm sure in a few more places. It was all-consuming for me at one time. Determination to breastfeed these triplets became who and what I was. There was NO.FREAKING.WAY that these babies were going to get formula. I hate formula. I hate everything about it. I hate that it is so readily available and accepted as a food for our babies. I hate that it is believed among so many to be 'as good for our babies' as breastmilk (it's NOT!). I hate that I hear so many mamas' say 'my baby was on formula and he/she is just fine'. I hate that WIC, a state funded program that provides food to lower income families, offers formula to Moms as acceptable nourishment for their babies as a CHOICE and not only if absolutely necessary. I think WIC should try harder to encourage breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is NOT easy. It takes alot of patience and hard work. On the part of the mother and the baby. It IS what is best for your baby, regardless of what anyone who uses formula wants to believe, BREASTMILK IS NORMAL. Formula is NOT. It's manufactured. Man-made. And should only be used if it is deemed absolutely necessary. This has always been my opinion and I will continue to stand by it.

Ok. Mini-rant over. Now, on to us. How are we doing? How is the breastfeeding going?

It.is.awesome. Seriously. I thank the Gods, Goddesses, and all the other higher powers that be, every single day that I am breastfeeding my babies. Yes, all 3 of them. My most favorite thing that I get asked when I am out and about?

Friendly curious person, upon seeing me NIP: Are you really nursing ALL THREE OF THEM?

Me: No, just this one. She's my favorite :)

Ok, so I'm being sarcastic but really? I know it's hard to believe but yes, I am nursing all 3 of them. No, I didn't just pick one to breastfeed. I truly do exclusively breastfeed all 3 babies. I wish it weren't so shocking. Then maybe it would be more reassuring that it happens more often than not.

So, how DO we do it? It's really very simple. The hungriest babies get to eat first. The one who ate the least and who ate first the last time, gets first choice the next time around. Yes, there are times when I have a baby fussing while waiting to eat. Luckily, they don't take a long time to eat, and if the fussing gets too bad, I will let one baby get 'satisfied' then put a fussy baby on to eat and then follow back up with the original baby. I'll try to do a basic outline with their ages. If it's too boring, skip it and read more after. This will be a 'timeline' of sorts. Please keep in mind that the 'days' are all approximate. My memory of the true days are so sketchy so I'm just estimating the time on here. I know I'm fairly close, I also don't have time to go back through all the blog posts and paper work to get exact dates and such. But this will give you a good idea. A ballpark, so to say.

Let me start by saying that before the girls were born, I had a plan. Baby A, boob a. Baby B, boob b. Baby C, bottle. Next feeding, rotate. Sounds easy enough right? Well, let's just say, (if your reading this because your pregnant with multiples) if you have a plan, and it doesn't go as planned, IT'S OK. Try something else! Better yet, ditch the planning and just adopt a carefree-come-as-you-go-wait-and-see-roll-with-the-punches-go-with-the-flow attitude. Trust me. I am the most meticulously planned person ever. In the multiples game, plans don't always work.

Birth: Babies are receiving donor milk in the NICU. I'm pumping every 2-3 hours. 24 hours a day. The babies get my milk when I get any, but it's mostly donor milk through a tube in their nose.

Day 5/6: At this time the babies are at about 50/50 donor milk, mommy milk. All through the tubes. I try every feeding to latch them on, but they are still not quite getting it. It is very discouraging. It's stressful. It's hard. Still pumping every 2-3 hours 24/7.

Day 10ish: A nurse suggests bottling to strengthen their jaws. Telling me that it's easier for a baby to bottle feed them to breastfeed. I finally agree. I now know this to be not true. Breastfeeding is NATURAL. Bottling is not. A baby has to attempt to form his mouth to a bottle. A babys' mouth will naturally form to a breast. I was told that nursing them wore them out. Since they were preemies we had to save their energy for growing. Not true. Yes, breastfeeding is tiring, but also, if the NICU were to allow triplets to EBF, it sure would mess with their 3 and 4 hour schedules now wouldn't it? Of course a bottle is less tiring, it just drips out.

Day 16: After almost a week of bottling the babies are finally ready to go home. I am still p.u.m.p.i.n.g. All.the.time. Around the clock. Fix bottles, feed babies, pump while feeding. Start all over again in an hour. I do not, for the life of me, understand how or why a woman would pump, just to turn around and bottle it to her child. Stupid, extra steps. I haven't pumped since the babies got good at nursing.

End of Month #1Beginning of month #2:: Trying so hard to tandem nurse. It's a joke. I get all set up. Get a baby all latched on and good to go, try to latch on the other baby and baby #1 pops off. Get baby #2 on, go back to latch on baby #1, baby #2 pops off. All the while baby #3 is patiently waiting. It's usually Emilia. This goes on until I finally get them both on, and it lasts maybe 2-3 minutes before they fall asleep or pop off, or I just give up and give them bottles. And resort to the pump. This happened ALOT. It was really hard to continue at this point. I had everyone telling me that I did my best and it was time to let it go. EVERYONE. Um, do they not know me very well? Nuh-uh! No way. I'd come way too far to give up now.

Mid-month #2/End month #2: Stilllllllll pumping! And bottling. But this is where the catching on starts. This is when I got about a 2o minute feed out of Rosalie. Weigh her, only to discover she took in only 30 cc's (they were taking in 60-70 via bottle at this point). It is VERY hard to not give in to the numbers. This is also about the time that I started to really look at each baby and evaluate them as individuals. This is where the light bulb finally came on. And this is where Dr. Jack Newman and a student of his, Helen, saved us. This is the 'If I knew then, what I know now' moment. I would never had bottled. It made this process harder, although I do think it got us out of the NICU faster. I would have used a system called SNS. I believe it would have been a much easier, faster, better way than bottling. If you mention it and get blown off, PURSUE IT. It's worth a try before the bottle. I promise.

Month #3/Now: No more pumping!!! The babies get it. Now, we develop our 'system'. 2 babies nurse at a time. Always. It's time efficient. The 2 hungriest babies get first dibs. Or if a baby just needs comfort or a quick drink, it's always available. We EBF. On demand. Always. I mean, if you get thirsty, don't you get a drink? I do. I don't wait every 3-4 hours to get something to drink. Why should my baby? But, sometimes one has to wait. They are good at being patient. The way I see it, it's a good lesson to learn early on with triplets.

Nightime? Yep. They are even EBF at night. There is the occasion where all 3 wake at the same time to eat and we apply the same theory. The last one to eat has to wait. With Daddy. And it's not that long. No more than 15 minutes. I'm not saying they like it, but they do it. What choice do they have? One mama, 2 boobs, 3 babies. Simple math. And it doesn't happen alot. Maybe twice a week.

So, do you just sit around and nurse babies all day long? No. I really don't. At first, yes, it's a commitment. It does take a long time for the babies to eat and by the time you finish that 3rd baby, the first two are ready to go again. So, for 3-4 months you have to commit yourself fully to doing nothing but nursing your babies. So what? In the big scheme of things, it's a mere 3 months. 90 days. Maybe 120 days. OF THEIR LIFE. What else is more important? Nothing. I will say, if multiples are your first babies, do this. Plan to stay in bed breastfeeding babies all day every day for the first month. I kid you not. All.day.every.day. That will get you on the right path to EBF. I promise. Now, at almost 10 months, it takes me a total of 30 minutes every 4 hours or so to feed them. That's it. Soooo worth it, right?

Unless of course you would rather pack a suitcase of bottles and formula every time you leave the house.

So, I'm re-reading this and hoping that it shed some light on HOW we do this. I'm not sure it does. I HOPE it does. I'm not sure I can even tell anyone how to do what we do. For one, the first 6 months are a blur. For another, I really think it's something that you have to be in the heart of to really get it.

My best advice? DON'T GIVE UP!

It Takes A Village....

2010-09-08T12:52:00.000-07:00

If you all remember a post in June, from me, titled CIO, a reader commented on it, it's the first comment below the post,

"And while I didn't have older kids to be built in babysitters"

and that comment stuck with me. It still does. I try so hard to NOT ask my older kids for help. These babies are not their responsibility. They are mine and Aarons. They are OUR babies. But I do admit, it's HARD to do it alone all day. I don't ask for help, then I get frustrated, then I'm cranky and nobody is happy. The other day, I came across a friends' blog, Ida-Heidi-Ho. She writes about the importance of a siblings role in the family. How most other societies are nurturing their children to be good parents and good role models by giving them the responsibility of caring for their siblings. We, as a society, do not do that. I read Heidi's blog and realized, that I am not 'saddling' my children with a useless chore. I am not merely asking for help with my hands full of babies. They are learning to be good parents. By caring for the younger ones, they are learning themselves to be caring, nurturing adults. Whether or not they choose to have children, its still an important life lesson to learn. How to take care of others. Too many people these days, I fear, never learned that, or choose not to learn it. Or at least, in my experience with some kids, it sure seems that way. And I don't blame the kids, I blame the parents.

While we may not have a village to raise our 9 children, we have each other. My kids have the best role models that they can have because we've taught them to be good role models. They are growing up in a home where babies are worn and breastfed. When a baby cries, it is tended to, whether by a Mom, a Dad, or a sibling. So many people seem surprised that the babies are so good with everyone. They have to be. There 'are 3 babies to care for. And I can't do it alone. I do need help. And, asking for help is ok. As a matter of fact, it actually benefits the babies. They get so much more exposure to things than if only one person were there primary care giver. Each of my children have something different to offer. Each has their own unique way of caring for a younger sibling. It's heartwarming to watch.

So yes, it DOES 'Take A Village To Raise A Child'. Thankfully, I've got my own village right here.

Finally.

2010-09-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

So, remember this pair of longies? From MARCH? Yeah, well, I finally finished the 2nd pair. Second. That means I still have one pair to do. I'm so tempted to 'send them out' for someone else to do. I fear that by the time I get them done, they won't fit the girls anymore. *sigh* If only my day consisted of 36 hours. Or, at the very least, I had triplets that napped for more than 20 minutes at a time. Or more than twice a day for a grand total of 40-60 minutes. Heck, while I'm wishing for stuff, might as well just wish that the Knitting Fairy would just visit my house. And the Laundry Fairy. And the Cleaning Fairy.

Too much?

Babywearing, Sleeping, and Breastfeeding. What More Can A Baby Ask For?

2010-09-04T15:40:00.000-07:00

An amazing friend sent me this awesome carrier. I know her from on online forum, http://www.thebabywearer.com/. She is also a loyal blog follower and a dear Facebook friend.

Brandy, (MustangXena) I cannot thank you enough for loaning me this Dream Carrier. I've never tried a buckle waist before and I LOVE it. So do the babies (and Lilah, as she was carried in it on our walk yesterday)

Babywearing AND Breastfeeding? What lucky baby girls :)

Lacking In Content...

2010-09-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to blog a quick apology.

I realize that alot of my posts now are quick and to the point. Some may like that, some may not. I personally prefer to be more concise, especially when it comes to parenting topics.

But I'm finding that my time to blog is pretty limited. And while I could blame just time, it's also my brain. I'm pretty sure that triple the amount of my brain cells died when the triplets were born. :/ I can't even hold a clear train of thought lately.

So, please accept my apologies for my 'half-assed' blogging, and I promise, that I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.

Then again, Gwendolen has started to try to crawl. YIKES! So much for a clearer mind.

Homeschooling

2010-09-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

Not too long ago, I would NEVER had thought I would homeschool any of my kids. I was of the belief that if a person had to go to college to get a degree to teach, then I was no where near qualified to teach my kids.

My thoughts on this subject has changed. Alot.

Since they were born, I have been my childrens teacher. Think about how much a child learns from birth to age 5. ( I say age 5 because this is the age that society has deemed parents useless in the ability to teach their child anything else ie: the age a child can legally start public school) And they learned it all from me. And their Dad. And everything around them. We provided them with all the resources to learn. So why suddenly, do I become obsolete and my child incapable of learning from me? Because they are 5? Because it's just 'what you do'? Well, I thought that about circumcision and look how well that turned out.

I started thinking. Alot. I was tired of sending my child off to be under the supervision of other people. Some of which, I wouldn't let supervise my dog. We'll start with the bus driver. And it's not just 1. It's numerous drivers. Let's just say, not how I want my child to start her day. Every day.

We've had problems for years with the bus situation. I've come to the conclusion that kids on buses are OBNOXIOUS. Even the most well behaved child will become a whole 'nother kid on a bus ride. Juliette has put up with sexual harassment, teasing, hair pulling, pushing, derogatory language, sexual language, and physical abuse. ON A SCHOOL BUS. All that before she even gets to school. So, how is her day supposed to be productive? And before we start talking about just driving her to school, let's remember that those same kids will also be in the same school. Great. I could go off here on a rant about 'kids today' and sound like an 80 year old grandma, but I won't. I'll save the topic of the demise of the integrity of todays' kids for another post. It will be a long one, I'm sure. So, it's not just about the bus ride. It's about the influences that my children have to experience. Too young. Too soon.

And, to get me started on productivity. 35 kids. 1 teacher. 7 hours. So they get, what? About 2 hours of actual learning in on a given day? Maybe.

And before you start thinking of the 'social' aspect of school, don't we spend most of the day telling our kids "School isn't for visiting, it's for learning'. All of my kids are VERY social. Not going to school isn't going to make them hermits. In fact, given what I've seen from the kids they are around, it should make them much more productive members of society. The peer influences will be much more minimal. Instead of having to spend their days trying to defend themselves, they will be home. Safe. With me. Learning what they need to know. Instead of spending 7 hours at school, Juliette will be spending about 4 hours a day at home doing her schoolwork.

We are doing an online charter school this year. To kind of 'break' us into this whole homeschooling thing. It's called WAVA. Washington Virtual Academy. It's basically public school online at home. I've talked to alot of people who have done it and loved it. So we are giving it a shot. Juliette is excited. I'm excited. Annie and Lilah are thrilled as they are starting school this year too. (And, just to make a note, I did offer this to Noah and Joseph too but they wanted to stay where they are)

So, hopefully, all goes well. I'll post back again in a few weeks, after we've had a chance to get a feel for it all. But I think it's going to be great :)

Still not convinced? Read this:

http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/10-1article1.htm

Happy Birthday Noah

2010-08-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

Another teenager. That makes 3 now. At one time. Yikes.

My sweet wonderful baby boy is THIRTEEN.

Again, how time does fly.

I love you buddy. So very very much.

Almost 9 Months

2010-08-16T23:30:00.000-07:00

The babies are just 3 days short of nine months, but after my weekend, I needed a post that would make me smile.

I love this picture. I can't believe I actually got them all looking at the camera.

Rosalie was 'all done' by this point. But I still think she's adorable.

My Gwena Girl. Always smiling.

Miss Emilia. Always so cautious and serious.

The neighbors' sprinkler was very amusing to Gwendolen.

I just love how they are all looking in a different directions here.

Ah. Life.

2010-08-07T21:11:00.001-07:00

For 6 glorious days, this is where we called life. This is our view from the back door. HEAVEN. We go every year. We look forward to it every year.

We take tons of pictures.

We do tons of water sports. Boating, wave runners...

canoeing.....

tubing.......

Lots of laugher, hugs, smiles......

and kisses....

Good food, barbeques and nice big breakfasts......

discovering new things and playing all day long...

And finally....A picture of all NINE of my beautiful children together. I think people were starting to wonder if they actually all existed. :)

Introducing Alice (as in Wonderland)

2010-07-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

We have a new family member. Her name is Alice. And we all love her. Well, all but Aaron and Annabel. Aaron is a tad weirded out by her and Annabel just likes to watch her. I think she likes her but is a bit frightened of her. I hope she warms up soon.

She is named for Alice in Wonderland, Annie's idea. We all think it's perfect.

She is just awesome. So funny. So active and super playful. She's amazingly smart. Kind of like a cross between a puppy and a kitten. She will 'fetch' her toys. She loves socks, so if you come to our house wearing socks, beware, she will attempt to remove them from your feet while you are wearing them. She gives kisses. No joke. If you hold her up to your face and say 'nose kisses', she will lick your nose. So.freakin.cute. And she giggles. Or at least, that's what it sounds like. Ferret giggles. It's hilarious. She giggles when she's excited while she jumps up and down on all 4's kind of like Tigger.

This was the best 'whim' decision ever.

Lilah thinks she is the funniest thing ever.

Joseph thinks she is awesome.

Noah says she's 'cool'

Juliette is thrilled

Madeline is in love.

I think she's pretty sweet too.

And the fine print.

No, she does not bite. At all. She was trained early on not to. And trained well. She is litterbox trained. She does have a smell, but it's not icky, just different. She is spayed. We do plan to keep her away from the babies for awhile just to be sure she can be trusted 100%. She's 7 months old. She sleeps in a cage on a hammock. THAT is cute. And she is not a rodent, she is a mammal.

Cute huh?

Blessed....

2010-07-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

am I. So very insanely blessed. And sometimes, ok alot of times, I get so wrapped up in the stresses of the day to day that I forget how truly amazing and wonderful my life is. It is so easy, lately, to let the negative creep up on me. And it doesn't even creep up. It full out body slams me most days. Then, it takes just one little comment from a friend to make me sit back and realize how truly blessed I am. Today I posted some pictures of the babies on my Facebook. A friend commented on one of my pictures. She said

'Holy cuteness!!! Your the luckiest lady on earth to have triple the baby smiles :-)'

'triple the baby smiles'.

I AM lucky.

I have triple the smiles. Triple the laughter. Triple the sweet intoxicating baby smell. Triple the baby feet. Triple the beautiful blue eyes. Triple the pudgie little baby hands. Triple the strawberry blowing on bellies. Triple the cute little button noses. Triple the sighs. Triple the little baby noises they make in their sleep. Triple the little cloth diapered bums. Triple the joy of watching a baby grow and learn and discover. Triple the kisses. Triple the hugs.

and it doesn't stop there.

I have 6 more amazing blessings.

6 more reasons to smile and laugh and be happy.

I have a daughter that is an amazing adult. A good good kid. Smart and kind. Funny and beautiful. Everything I ever wanted her to be, she is.

I have a son who makes me smile everytime I see him. He is handsome and clever. His personality is just so relaxed it's intoxicating. He makes me calm.

I have a son who makes me laugh. He is smart and talented and the kindest of souls. He is giving and helpful. A sweet and empathetic child.

I have a daughter who is becoming as beautiful as she is wonderful. A sweet sweet girl who I cannot imagine our life without. Her name suits her personality to the core, and defines the statement that you can't judge a book by it's cover.

I have a daughter who is the light of my life. She is funny and kind. A perfect combination of all our kids wrapped into one. I see everyone in her and watching her grow is full of surprises.

I have a daughter who is precocious and mischievous. She loves life and everyone she sees. She is unexpectedly shy and her laugh is infectious.

So, you see, I AM BLESSED. Many times over.

It's as if I've won the lottery of life. Like that game. Life. I used to play it when I was younger. My favorite part of the whole game was filling the car with the little blue and pink pegs. The babies. And if I landed on the 'you just had twins' spot? That was the BEST.DAY.EVER.

So, as hard as it is every day, as much as I cry and struggle, I just have to step back, take a minute and observe my life as if a stranger would happen upon us.

I am the luckiest lady on earth.

Someone must really think I'm pretty special to grant me this life. And I promise to try so much harder, to not take advantage of this gift.

These 9 blessings are the reason I was created.

They are my life.

They are my world.

They are my love.

Happy Birthday Juliette

2010-07-09T15:16:00.000-07:00

But of course. Late again. I do believe late should be my new name :/.

Happy Birthday Juliette. You grew up waaaayyyy too fast. My baby monkey girl :)

Eleven whole years old. Way too close to being a real teenager.

Thank you for being my little girl. And for being so awesome. I love you so much. Happy Birthday.

A 7 Month Photo Shoot

2010-07-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

SEVEN MONTHS OLD!

These girls are getting so very big!

What are they doing these days?

Gwendolen is rolling everywhere. Emilia has rolled over once, but she didn't seem to like it so hasn't done it again. Rosalie is content to just lay around and observe.

We started them on foods here and there. They love to eat. Rosalie gets so excited when she even sees a spoon that she kicks and talks, loudly. Gwendolen gets mad if the food isn't shoveled in every second, and Emilia patiently waits her turn. As usual.

The sleeping thing is going 'ok'. Gwendolen totally gets it and actually reaches for her crib if she's tired. Emilia does good about 70% of the time. Rosalie is still struggling. If she cries for too long, I go get her. It's been 8 days now so I think Rosalie needs a different method. The good news? They are MUCH happier babies. Much. They now have consistent awake and play times. They are more content because they aren't so tired. Rosalies' temperament is such that if she is overtired, she will just cuddle and fall asleep. Nothing like the grumpy Miss Gwendolen when she is tired. And it has gotten me time with my other kids. I get to read to the toddlers and tuck them in at night. And I feel like a much better mommy. Was it worth it? Not sure yet. I'm still weighing that one on my guilty conscience.

I'll be back with updates on the rest of the gang in a few days :)

A Reminder

2010-06-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

For the people that read my blog, but seem to not like anything that I have to say.....

Please reread this post.

That should clear things up.

This is who I am. I write MY feelings, MY opinions, MY thought, and MY experiences. This is about MY LIFE. It's that simple.

I am, very simply put, a Mama. With 9 very loved, very much wanted and VERY exceptional kids.

I am not forcing my opinions on anyone. It is your choice to read them. I am simply writing them for all to see.

If my blog bothers you to the point that you have to leave rude comments, please stop reading/following me. Or, at the very least, quit commenting. Please.

Back On Track....Babywearing

2010-06-29T17:04:00.000-07:00

Babywearing.

It always cracks me up, as I'm wearing one of my babies, when people say 'Wow! That is so cool! The things they come up with for babies now-a-days. I wish they had those when my babies were little'.

Um, they did. 'Babywearing' has been around for ages. I guess it's just much more mainstreamed now. You see it more and more. From Bjorns to wraps to Ergo's.

I would like to make a note that Bjorns and the like aren't good for a babys' spinal development. I'll post a link at the bottom the explains it better than I can.

It's not only good for your baby's development, it makes life so much easier. Especially if you have other children to care for.

I dabbled briefly into babywearing with my 1st son, Joseph. But, as I said in a previous post, I bought a Moby, didn't get it on quite right and he almost fell out. I never wore him again.

The next baby to be worn was Annabel. She REQUIRED it. Her temperament actually had me out searching for something to put her in besides my arms when she was just days old.

I came across a Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece Pouch. Saved.my.life. Annabel LIVED in that thing. I actually slept with her in it a few times, propped up on my bed. She needed to be worn. My family wasn't too keen on the idea since that meant they didn't get to hold her as much, but it was literally the only thing that kept her happy. Being worn and being nursed. Closeness.

The KKAFP opened up a whole new world for me. I found an awesome website, The BabyWearer. From there I discovered Wraps, Mei Tais, Soft Structured Carriers, Pouches and Ringslings. A whole world of ways to carry your babies. I was addicted. The website has a For Sale Or Trade section. I had carriers coming in the mail DAILY. I had to try them all. I have a bad back so it was hard to find ones that worked well for me. But I did. And my babies were worn. LIFE MADE SIMPLER. No fussy babies and 2 free hands. I even got to the point where I could nurse hands free. AWESOMENESS.

Now, wearing triplets? I tried. I got them all on but it wasn't very comfortable. This is one area where they get one-on-one. :)

**Please be aware that babywearing has been in the news lately due to infants suffocating in certain brands of carriers. Just like carseats, a babys' position is very crucial. Take lots of time to learn about your carrier. Practice it.

Bagslings, why they are dangerous

Infant carriers and spinal distress

Wearyourbaby

10 reasons to wear your baby

Dr Sears on Babywearing

Hypocrisy, Eating My Words & And Apology

2010-06-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

I have debated about this post for days. Half of me says 'write it, it's important'. The other half of me, the ashamed, chicken shit half of me, says 'no way, hide in the closet, do not speak of what you've done'.

It seems that hypocrisy is a word familiar to me. I posted about it here when the triplets were born and I had to leave the hospital to come home to get some rest.

I also posted a few weeks ago about a very controversial subject, CIO.

In that post, I said "I WILL NEVER DO IT".

Well, I did it. I am not proud. I am not happy. Even though, it seems to have 'worked'. I am not relieved. Not yet. I am ashamed, sad and judgemental. Now of myself. I hope that feeling goes away soon.

We have tried EVERYTHING to get these babies to sleep. Noise machine, car rides, wearing them, rocking, pacing, the dryer, binkies. All that worked was me and the boob. But these babies are not only children. They are #7, #8 and #9. They have to make adjustments to our family too. Sounds harsh, but for 7 months we have been literally catering to them, which is NECESSARY for babies, don't get me wrong, but when it's affecting our entire family to the point of complete and total dysfunctionality, it's time to make some changes. Not fun changes, but necessary ones.

You may be asking yourself, what got you to that point? Honestly? Besides exhaustion. My mental well being. I felt thisclose to cracking. I've never in my life experienced a mental breakdown, but I'm pretty sure what I was feeling was close. I cried all the time. I yelled at my other children, alot. I was never happy. I even wrote my husband an email telling him I couldn't handle this anymore and that I was leaving. Yep. I did. Now, a person in their right mind could see how leaving, with the 3 babies and the toddlers, would accomplish nothing. I was not in my right mind. I was literally losing it. Ask any of my Facebook friends. They saw my pleas for help. I'm actually surprised that CPS never showed up at my door. I am not one to ask for help. Ever. So when I am pleading for it, you know something must not be right. My husband saw this, and told me we had to do something fast before our whole family fell apart.

All this because of 3 tiny humans that would not sleep.

We made ourselves a checklist. We found some resources on the internet and used them.

•Am I content with the way things are, or am I becoming resentful, angry, or frustrated? I was becoming angry, resentful AND frustrated. NONE of these things makes for a good mommy. In fact, those 3 things alone are a recipe for disaster when parenting triplets.

•Is my baby’s nighttime routine negatively affecting my marriage, my job, or my relationships with my other children? Yes, yes and yes. Aaron and I were not even talking. My job is my children. When I spent 5-7 hours a day putting babies to sleep, I never saw my kids. Which partners with the relationship question. I need to be a mommy to ALL NINE of my kids, not just the triplets.

•Is my baby happy, healthy, and seemingly well rested? No, yes and no. Grumpy grumpy babies. Almost always. They wanted to take up to 15 naps a day because they weren't getting any sleep. They are all very healthy so that did play a part in this decision.

•Am I happy, healthy, and well rested? No, no and no. I was not happy and enjoying my life or my kids. My mental health was suffering and I haven't slept in months. Not for more than an hour at a time.

•What is a reasonable expectation for my baby at his/her age? At 7 months, these babies SHOULD be able to fall asleep on their own and stay asleep for at least 4 hours.

•What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “acceptable”? Falling asleep without assistance from the boob. After 3-4 hours, I do feed them/cuddle them/bring them into my bed.

•What naptime and bedtime situation would I consider “pure bliss”? Just what I stated above

•Why do I want to change my baby’s sleep patterns? Is it truly what’s best for me and my baby, or am I doing this to meet someone else’s expectations? This is what is best for our entire family. Including the babies. Babies need SLEEP.

•Am I willing and able to be patient and make a gradual, gentle change for my baby if that means no crying? Willing, yes. Able, no. I am alone during the day with 5 kids under the age of 4.

This is the 'list' we looked at. Our answers to these questions are in red.

So, given all that, we made the decision to CIO. I know, I know. Believe me, I KNOW.

I am fully prepared for the comments that are sure to follow this post. I considered turning off the comments so that I didn't have to face up to what I did, but then decided not to. Post what you must, but believe me, I am my own worst critic. I do know that this solution sucked. It sucked BIG TIME, trust me, I was the one sitting here crying with the baby monitor in my hands. My babies were the ones crying in their cribs. But as a friend said to me 'You've never raised triplets before, your doing your best' and as I keep saying to myself 'Having multiples sure changes the 'rules' of AP'. I do wish that my best felt good enough, just once. I do my best day after day after day, and it feels like I am always letting someone down no matter how hard I try.

It has been 3 days now. The babies still cry when we lay them down. It still breaks my heart. And we are still working on it. I've given myself 5 days. If they are still sad in 5 days, I'm done. But they are getting better. The most they cry for is about 20 minutes right now. And it's not screaming crying. It's some crying with alot of baby bitching in between. And when they wake up, they are smiling. They are still happy. They still love us.

I will say that I would NEVER EVER EVER condone CIO in babies younger than 6 months. NEVER. To be honest, I still don't condone it. I know, hypocrisy at it's best. It seems I am good at talking the talk but not so much at walking the walk.

CIO should never be done out of convenience. It really should be a last resort. If at all.

I stick by my original post that CIO is harmful to babies, and I HATE myself for doing it. But I had to consider the alternative. A mentally healthy mommy is pretty damn important too.

So, to anyone that HAD to use CIO, with no other options, I am sorry. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I am sorry that your babies had to go through that. Now that I have been there done that, I know the stress it causes and I wish that kind of pain and stress on nobody. No baby, no mommy, no daddy, and no family.

Our new routine? Just so nobody thinks I am completely heartless:

Wake.Eat.Play.Eat.Sleep.

Upon waking, from either a nap or nighttime, I nurse them. Then we play. And cuddle. And take walks. When they start to get tired, I nurse them all again. (and whenever they want as they are playing, we still nurse on demand) Since they all have to sleep together, in our room, ( 9 kids and a 4 bedroom house) they do have to get accustomed to sleeping through each others noises.) They will always be sharing a room. Then we turn on the sound machine, their projectors that put a picture on the ceiling and lay them down, in their cribs with their little Carters animal head lovies that they like to suck on, tell them we love them, smother them with kisses and hugs, say Night Night, and walk out.

Right now, they still cry. I'm hoping and praying it gets better. Soon.

As they awaken in the night, I bring them to bed with me and feed them, on demand, as usual.

What has this 'gotten me'?

TIME.

Time with my family. For the first time in almost a year, I can tuck my toddlers into bed. I can say goodnight to Noah. I can watch a movie with Madeline. I can talk to my husband. I can talk with Joey about soccer. I can hang out with Juliette.

I feel myself slowly getting better mentally. Yes, the process of CIO is a whole new stress, but it's one that will dissipate soon. I hope. I hope to forgive myself. Being able to heal as a family should help that. Again, I hope.

And hopefully, the benefits of rested, happy babies will outweigh the damage of CIO. I can only hope.

Graduation 2010

2010-06-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

Oh.My.Gawd.

Ok, this one was hard for me. Senior? Nah. Prom? Nope. GRADUATING? Yes. Yes. Yes.

I literally almost cried. Me. I never ever cry. Unless I'm mad or frustrated. But this got me. All I could think of was when Aaron and I graduated. I remember it so clearly. And having Madeline graduate brought it all back even more.

She's so beautiful and so smart and we are so so proud of her.

Now, 1 down, only 8 more to go. How old will we be when the triplets graduate? Ugh. I don't even want to think about it. This made me feel old enough.

A New Journey, A New Blog

2010-06-19T19:33:00.000-07:00

So, the 'manufactured' dreadlocks are out.

I realized it was not the journey that I wanted nor needed.

I need to find calm. I need to learn patience. I need to 'let go'.

I'm going natural. I need this lesson. I need this experience. I need this journey.

The best part? Madeline and Juliette are joining me.

What an amazing experience this will be.

Follow us. ::becoming::

Stress, Sleeplessness and....Is There An 'And'?

2010-06-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

I think I have officially reached my breaking point. I haven't cracked yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not too far off.

Having to nurse all 3 babies down for every nap and bedtime is getting to be a 5-7 hour daily battle. 5-7 hours I spend sitting in the family room or upstairs trying to get them to sleep. 5-7 hours that my toddlers are not getting any mommy time. I thank Gods that they are such good little girls. I don't know many toddlers that would do that without getting into trouble.

Having babies, 3 of them, that do not sleep is causing alot of stress on me and the entire family. Not to mention it makes for some VERY unhappy babies.

I need suggestions. We have 3 portacribs in our room now to help with this. I need everyones best NON-CIO options that are do-able. Realistic for multiples.

We are going to try to just lay them down sleepy and hope that they 'Baby-Bitch' themselves to sleep, but I'm not holding my breath.

HELP?

Live A Little...Learn A Little...

2010-06-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

So, it turns out that those few comments on my 'Dreadlocks' post were correct. :/

Crochet dreads are NOT the best way to go. But, what's done is done. I'm not totally screwed, and my locs will survive so all in all, things are ok. But I sure do wish I had found this website before I did my hair.

Crocheting your hair is damaging. While it does give you instant 'dreadlocks', the hook used to pull the hairs in and around the backcombed hair, damages them. The real problem lies in the maintenance of crocheting. Most people will have their locks done and then continue to have them crocheted to maintain the neat perfect look. This means very unhealthy dreadlocks that will more than likely start to break off within a few years, if not sooner. Luckily for me, I didn't want neat and perfect to begin with. So, I won't be going back. EVER. I just needed major starting help since I'm pretty sure Aaron would not have gone for the wild-cave-woman look. Especially when we have stuff to go to.

The downside to starting with crochet, then going natural is the fuzz. My hair is fuzzy. Really fuzzy. It's a bit damaged, but according to the website that you should totally check out, I should be fine. My hair will start to dread on it own naturally with, hopefully, minimal damage from the crochet hook.

I'm going to try to do a timeline for the dreadlock website, about going from crochet to natural. I won't bore you all with pics, but I'll occasionally include a link in case you want to go check it out.

Madeline wants to do her hair now too, but we are doing it the healthier way. It's called twist and rip. It's better for your hair. And it's free.

Live a little, learn a little. Or alot, in this case. Thank Gods for people posting on my comments.