"How Can You Have Too Many Children? That's Like Saying You Have Too Many Flowers" ~ Mother Teresa

A Peek Into Our Hectic, Crazy & Loving Family of Eleven


Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Last Few Weeks

in a nutshell......

One horrific car accident. An ICU stay. Broken ribs, punctured lungs, dislocated hip, broken wrist & a broken knee/tib/fib, ruptured spleen. Another broken arm, dislocated foot, & sprained ankle. Heart attack & Pneumonia. Fat lips &bloody noses. Horror movie nursing home.

THAT has been my month.

It started with my aunts heart attack (she's ok now). Then my baby sister got in a horrific car accident that almost killed her. My grandpa, from all the stress was admitted into the hospital with chest pains (DX was anxiety and pneumonia). Gwendolen was knocked down by our very large dog, got a bloody nose and a fat lip. My mom, while in town to help with my sister, fell down and broke her ankle, then, the very next day, fell again and broke her arm and had to have surgery. Was going to recoup in a nursing home that was straight outta hell, so she ended up staying with us for a bit to recover. All the things listed above from 'An ICU stay, all the way to 'ruptured spleen' was my baby sister. (And for a little background, she is 13 years younger than me so I pretty much 'Mommied' her our whole lives. She was not quite 2 when Aaron and I met.)

My sister is now staying with us to recover from this accident. This accident almost killed her. My world was turned upside down. Almost losing my baby sister shocked me to my core. I realized how strong I am (hence the Superman post from last week) but it also made me realize how I handle tragedy and upheaval. All through the day of the accident, I did really good. I didn't cry. I didn't cry when I got that 5am phone call. I didn't cry when I held my sisters hand after her emergency surgery as she lay in the ICU. I didn't cry when I got home later that morning and had to continue on with our planned vacation, leaving my baby sister in that hospital. I didn't cry on the long drive to Sunriver, even after my other sister called to tell me about our Grandpa.

Then, I did cry. Exactly 17 hours later.

At our vacation home, with everything unpacked, kids finally all in bed, and the house silent. Aaron walked over to me. Asks if I'm ok. I say 'No, I'm not ok. I'm not ok at all' and collapse on the floor. And sob. Now, is my time to 'lose it'. Now that everyone else is taken care of, I can finally have my time to 'freak the f*ck out'. And Aaron held me as I cried. Have I mentioned lately how very much I love this man?

And it taught me something.

It gave me perspective.

Life is too short. LIVING is what's important. The little things matter. Yet they don't. Smiles and hugs matter. Spilled milk? Not so much. I know now, without a doubt, that family is more important that anything in this entire world. Don't wait to say things that need to be said. Don't wait to do things that you want to do. Don't waste precious time on negativity and stress. There is too much uncertainty in this world. In this life.

"Love as if you have never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. And live everyday as if it were your last."

This song is for you Noelle. I love you so much. ♥And Tiffany and Michael, you both too. I am so lucky to have such an amazing family and even more amazing siblings.

Monday, April 18, 2011


There has been alot going on around here lately, hence the lack of the promised postings that haven't happened. I am trying to formulate a good blog post about the past 16 days, but for now I wanted to share a side of me that I didn't know would ever show up. The side that somewhere, along the way, in the past 2 years, has finally gained some confidence. True pride and confidence in who I've become and how I've gotten to where I am. Granted, with some upsets along the way and the still ever-changing things that I do to keep it 'mixed-up'. (You know, little things like tattoos, body piercings, dreadlocks, and complete changes in attitude and outlook).

All it took was the past 16 days of my life for me to actually REALIZE it.

Well, either that or I'm misunderstanding the 'signs' and it's more of an overwhelmed or a woe-is-me attitude, than one of confidence.

I'm going with confidence right now, or arrogance, whatever you want to call it. It's just my overall feeling in life right now.

This song puts it into words perfectly.