So, since the whole purpose of my dreadlock journey is so that I can learn to just 'let things go', I figure I better start on it now that my lockes are fairly fully established. The locks were my first step in this process. I know it's confusing that I started with such a huge step, and now I'm keeping it small again, but it's how I had to do it. I had to prove to myself that this was possible in the biggest way I knew how.
The biggest 'physical' change that I wanted to see when I first started this journey is in my home. Being a sahm (stay at home mama) means that this is my job. My career. It includes caring for the kids, doing the laundry, making meals and keeping the house clean and picked up. Among tons of other things but you what I'm saying. And I take it seriously. Too seriously. To the point of it causing me anxiety. It's crazy and stupid, I know that. I feel that just as how my children behave are a reflection of how I've done as a Mom, so is how the house is kept. It's my job. Simple as that. Would I go to a place of business that I was employed at and leave my office trashed? No.
My point. If the house isn't relatively picked up, at (most) all times, I can't stand it. ( I'm talking the daily toys and clutter, NOT the cleaning. I will continue to be a cleaning freak :) I like that trait in myself, Lol) I can't think in a messy house. I can't do anything in a messy house. A messy house puts me in a bad mood. Stupid. And the odd thing is, it doesn't bother me at someone elses home. Only mine. Pretty sure it's because it is MY responsibility to keep MY home clean.
At least I've figured myself out without help :)
I decided that I needed to be less worried about the small stuff. Like the bathtub toys. The girls play with them every.single.day. But every day, when the baths are done, we scoop up the toys and put them all back. And if, for some reason, we don't do it right after bath, I'll do when I'm going to bed.
This is my first step in changing things:
Yes, that is from last nights bath and it's 3pm the next day and I haven't picked them up yet. usually I have to play the 'out of sight, out of mind' game with myself but not this time. Today I was even able to take a photograph of them and walk away.
This is HUGE for me.
I am really really proud of myself.
I just keep telling myself... 'baby-steps', 'I think I can, I think I can'.
My goal is to just be able to let the mess linger a tad bit longer before picking up.
We'll see how I do. Wish me luck. :)