life.overwhelmed.

Seriously.

I used to love February. Not so much anymore. This month has been c.r.a.z.y. Obviously since my last post was almost exactly a month ago. This is going to be kind of a pity party, so if you want to come, please stay and read. If not, I so will not be offended if you step away. Most of my Facebook friends will probably not want to relive my month. Yes, it was that bad. BUT. We are all here. And alive. And well. And happy. And (I do say this with caution) back to normal. Finally.

My horrible month started on February 4th. Rosalie woke up from her nap SICK. Sicker than I've ever seen one of my children. Fever was 104 and she was lethargic and limp. Called the advice nurse, and after determining that she needed to be seen, we headed to the ER. Upon arrival at the ER, vitals were taken.

Temperature: 104.2, Respiration: 46, O2 Sat: 76% (!!!) Pulse: 158.

Yeah. Read those again. No, I am not kidding.

Keep in mind that we put a healthy child down for a nap and this is what she woke up like.

Pneumococcal pneumonia. Do I realize there is a vaccine for this? Yep. Pneumonia has 90 subtypes. The vaccines that they have made can protect against 13 of them, given they choose the right one that year. So, basically a 1/90 chance that this MIGHT have been preventable. Not good enough odds for me. But this isn't meant to be a vaccine debate at all.

So, long story short, 3 days in the hospital and she is okay. Thank the Gods. I will mention that the Dr's were SHOCKED that she recovered so fast. I smiled and told them no vaccines and 2 years of breastfeeding did that. :)

While we were in the hospital, I realized how many people are not here for us. Not really. Our baby girl almost died and 2 people came to show their support to our family. My amazing sister and a very very dear friend, both of which I'm not sure I could have made it these past 3 years without, let alone the latest 'stuff'. I'm not angry, or bitter. Not anymore. Almost losing Rosie helped me to see what's important in life. Not lingering over my expectations of people. Obviously mine are too high.

Next to follow along in this awesome month was just lots of little things. You know, the little stuff that can just make or break you? Yeah, I almost broke. Literally.

Broken down cars, broken washing machine, dishwasher died, more illness although nothing near Rosie's, money issues (but who doesn't have THOSE?!), family stuff with another sister that I can't even get into, it's still just too hard and unresolved (in my opinion anyways). Add in general life for us among all this and yeah, life gets crazy.

Our small town has endured the suicides of 6 teens in the past year. Although I did not know any of them, it has weighed heavily on my heart. I have teens. And the thought that these teens were suffering so much that they took their own life, just breaks my heart. And the suicide issue has also hit home hard with a friend whose 2 children are in pain and reaching out also.

Then, we get to add to all this bullying. My 12 year old daughter came to us with a broken heart. Sobbing and crying, begging to switch schools. The problem? One certain teacher and a handful of kids. Kids that she has been friends with for years. ( Have I mentioned that you couldn't pay me enough money to be 12.13.14.15 again? Never) Imagine being 12 and walking through school feeling invisible. And ignored. Feeling like a nobody. My baby girl did this for over a MONTH before she came to us. This is what my Facebook status was a few days ago:

'Bullying is serious. In ANY form. Bullying is not just calling names and 'being mean'. Bullying is not just physical. A child shunned by all her friends and most of the school is being bullied also. A child should not have to walk around school feeling 'invisible'. Even if your child isn't 'friends' with someone, or they aren't BFF's anymore, teach them know that acknowledgment is important too. Just a simple smile can change a persons day. And please talk/listen to your child. Don't just ask about their day. Get specific. Ask about their TEACHERS. You are trusting these people to be a part in raising your child. Ask how they interact and treat your child. Its important.'

As for the teacher? Well, the list is long. My daughter was taped to her desk. TAPED. For rocking back in her chair. She was told that her work was worthless. She was told that if she didn't understand an assignment to 'just take an F'. She was humiliated and ridiculed by a TEACHER.

And she had no friends to turn to. She endured this for a month before coming to us. She didn't want to worry us, or bother us. Poor sweet baby girl.

She is now in a new school in our same district. So far, so good. She is happy.

Things are looking better. Tomorrow is March 1st. A new month. Spring is coming and I am hopeful for a continued happiness and peacefulness.

I have a new car (old one got sold because it was a gas hog. 10mpg? No thanks), all the kids are healthy, happy and content. For now :)

I am hopeful that it will continue.

It HAS to.