The Good. The girls are gaining weight well. Rosalie is up to 4#10oz, Gwendolen is up to 5#1oz, and Emilia is up to 6#. We no longer have to write down every ounce they consume. It is so much nicer. Rosalie is starting to look less like a cross between a Naked Mole Rat (according to her brother) and E.T and look more like a newborn baby. Mia is still a whole pound lighter than our lightest baby, yet compared to her sisters, she looks just huge.
The Bad. I'm still not exclusively breastfeeding. I'm still pumping. ALL.THE.DAMN.TIME. As a matter of fact, this stupid pump sees more action than my poor husband. I hate this pump. I want to love it since it does help for me to provide milk for the girls but I don't. I don't want to have to use it. I want the girls to not need me to use it, yet they do. It's so very frustrating. I truly didn't think it would be this hard. To breastfeed. I mean, that's what the boobs are there for, and I can't do it.
The Ugly. The thoughts that are going on in my crazy, post partum sleep deprived head. Bottle Feeding. Only. Pumping for as long as I can, and hoping for the best. That is UGLY. I mean no offense to those that chose to bottle feed, formula feed, whatever. It's just not for me. Human milk is meant for human babies. It's just how I feel. I think it would kill me to not be able to breastfeed these girls solely from my breasts, yet how I am going to get from point A to point B is still unanswered to me.
2 months ago