**Thank You**

To our whole family for celebrating Delilah's FIRST Birthday with us. It was alot of fun! The potluck was a good idea ;). So much good food! Lilah had a blast just truckin' around visiting and playing with everyone. She is such a little socialite. I have no clue who she takes after. Must be her dad. ;).

She loves her birthday hat and her new hat from Auntie Noelle. (And Auntie Noelle, we expect a true knitted hat soon. ;) )

Selling A House...

Is alot of work. I am very grateful that we've had 8 (yes EIGHT!) showings in the past 2 weeks but its so exhausting to keep the house clean all the time. I mean, my house is generally clean but to get it to inspection point in a mere hour with 6 kids and 3 animals running around is near impossible. Not to mention getting those 6 kids and 3 animals out the door and into the car within that hour too.

Oh, and as it turns out, our really stupid cat Willow isn't so stupid. She totally knows when we have to load her up into the car. She has become amazingly good at disappearing as we are on the last seconds of needing to leave. Then, when we do finally find her, she transforms into Houdini as she somehow manages to escape out of the car as we are loading. That is, if we can actually make it to the car on the first try without her jumping away. But she hasn't gotten to smart for us yet. She escapes from whoever is the lucky one to be carrying her then manages to make it to the front door while she waits for us to open it. Wow. Now THAT is an intelligent cat.

The Secret Is Out...

I have an addiction..WOOL!

For those who know me well, you know I am obsessed with wool. And knitting. And cute cute cute little wool pants for Delilah to wear over her cloth diapers. Well, in the whole cloth diapering world, there are certain WAHM's who knit really really good (Like my friend Monica with the Silly Stripes). There is another mama that knits well too. Her business is Rock Star Knits. I was VERY lucky yesterday and was able to acquire TWO pairs of her amazing work. I'm so excited that I need to share it with EVERYONE. Lilah is gonna be rocking these longies! Whoo Hoo!!

(Stay tuned for Action Shots when they arrive!)

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY** Sweet Delilah

Today is Delilah's FIRST Birthday! I can't believe shes a whole year old. Shes a real walking and talking little person now. Of course, shes still a baby but a walking talking baby person growing all up dangit. I'm excited but its sad. Time goes by way way way too fast.

Happy Birthday Sweet Little Girl. ;)

Seriously?!?!

I'm going to sound a bit like an "old -timer" but Seriously? What is wrong with some kids these days?

Madeline and Joseph have finals this week. Finals are a big deal. The kids study hard.

Today, during finals some kid pulled the smoke alarm. Nice. The whole school has to stand outside, in 30 degree weather I might add, while the fire department comes to make sure all is ok. Everything is fine, kids get back to classes. ONE HOUR LATER, some kid (same kid?) pulls the fire alarm AGAIN!

Really? Are you kidding me? I can maybe see it once, kids will be kids ya know? but TWICE? In the SAME hour? WHY?! I figure its because she/he A. Likes to stand outside in the freezing cold all day or B. Didn't study. I tend to believe B. Maybe he/she thought it would get them out of finals? Um. Nope. The school staff isn't stupid. They just cut the free time and add minutes onto that days classes.

Honestly, is it the kids these days or the parents that just aren't raising them right?

Homeschooling is so tempting.

Silly Stripes

I have a friend, Monica, who is an awesome knitter. She knits the most amazing wool pants (longies). I, I mean, Lilah was lucky enough to get a pair. We took some fun pics the other day at Joey's soccer game. If you want to see more of Monica's work, her link to her blog is in my list to your right. Her business is called Little Bear Knitwear. Pretty cute longies huh? The baby ain't bad either. ;)

Annabel Olivia

Last, but certainly not least, is Annabel. She is such a joy in our lives. Always sweet, so well behaved, and just a funny little girl. She is so much fun to be with.

Annies favorite activity at the moment is singing. She is always signing. Her current favorite song is Hot & Cold. And boy, can she belt it out. Even the bad words. Oops. Its really hard to explain to a 2 year old why she cant say certain words in a song, so we pretty much just let it go. I figure she'll move on to a new song soon. Today shes been singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star alot so Hot & Cold may well be on the way out already.

She is going to preschool and loves it. She can say her ABC's and count to 10. She knows her days of the week.

She is going to be 3 in 2 more months. Hard to believe shes 3 already.

Its seems my kid posts are having an affect on me. It makes me realize how fast they grow. Time goes by way too fast.

I think Ill steal an extra hug and kiss from all of them today. Or possibly every day from here on out.

Madeline Elizabeth

Madeline. Mady. Mady Elizabeth. She goes by all those. You may notice that her name is spelled different than usual. That is because we decided that I obviously didn't know what I was thinking when I spelled her name Madalyn on her birth certificate. I mean, WHY do people feel the need to get kre8tive with spelling a childs name? It just causes confusion. Seriously, what child wants to go through life constantly telling people, "No, its not "eline" , its "alyn". My mom was being kre8tive. (Insert eye rolling here) I personally chalk it up to being a 19 year old mom and having fun with some spellings. But, now that I am older and wiser and Ive educated my daughter about proper baby naming, we've decided to change it to Madeline. So, its Madeline. Soon it will be legally.

Anyway. On to Madeline. Shes 16, almost 17. YIKES! Do you know what that means?? That means that she is the same age that I was when Aaron and I went on our first date! OMG. And I mean O.M.G. It just does not seem possible that our tiny 6 pound baby girl is almost an adult. Not just almost an adult, but capable of soon meeting the man she may marry. It could happen, but I doubt it. Shes pretty set on college and beauty school. Shes going to be a fabulous beautician. Shes already artistic and you should see how this girl can do a hair color already!

And speaking of being almost an adult. What a fabulous kid she is. What a great adult she will soon be. Funny, kind and I honestly don't think we could have asked for a better teenager. Man, I remember when I was her age. Well, lets just say shes WAY better behaved than I was.

Right Mom? ;)

She is driving, has been for awhile. She has the cutest little car. Its a 1981 Honda Civic Hatchback. Teal. Her favorite color. She thinks she looks cute in it. I agree. ;)

Her obsession is photography. And she is GOOD. I'm not just saying that. Shes really good. One of these days I will post some of her work. But for now, this is a typical Mady pose. She loves being behind the camera. I just love this picture.

Joseph Alexander

Joseph is 14 already. Wow. Where does the time go? He's such a great teenager. We are very lucky. He's smart, funny, kind and caring. The best big brother. He's still playing competitive soccer. He is in Sate Cup right now. He's playing with a BU-16 team. He kind of just picked it up after playing the season with his team, and his team decided not to do State Cup. He's still #22, in remembrance of his coach and mentor, Stew, that passed away last year after heart surgery. It's taking Joseph awhile to get back into soccer with the gusto that he once had. Losing Stew was really hard on him. He's slowly getting back into it though. I'm glad, its what Stew would have wanted. Hes going to try out for Prairies team this year. That will be alot of fun for him.

He keeps talking about what kind of car he wants when he gets his drivers license. License? Whoa, slow down! These kids are killing me with their growing up stuff. Now I know what my Mom was talking about when she said that us growing up made her feel old.

Sorry about that Mom. ;)

Juliette Demaris

Ok. So if you hadn't noticed, Ive got a theme going here. I'm "showcasing" a child each day, and updating on them. No particular order, just as it comes to me. With 6, its good to individualize them. They like that. ;) Plus, its easier to read sometimes.

So here's Juliette. Juliette is a super great kid. She loves sports. LOVES them. And she is good at them. All of them. I'm biased maybe but, we've been told numerous times that shes good so she must be. She's currently playing basketball. Shes not the best at passing. Well, I'm sure she CAN but she chooses not to. She likes to go for the basket. But what kid doesn't? She also plays soccer. She's kinda just like her brothers. Especially Joseph. And she recently did Science Olympiad at school. She really loved that. It was exactly how it sounds. Science competition. Brain sports. As long as its competitive, Juliette is all over it.

Did I mention that shes beautiful? Again, maybe a bit biased, but look at those eyes. I think we might be in trouble in about, oh, 5 or 6 years.

God help us. 4 beautiful girls. Poor Aaron.

Delilah Verity

Or should I say Gene Simmons wanna be? You know, that guy from the band Kiss, with the white painted face and the really long tongue? Yep, looks just like Lilah.

So yes, this is her new thing. Her tongue. It's always out of her mouth. I'm thinking it must be her teeth. 1 year molars are starting to come in.

Shes almost mastered the walking thing. Instead of Frankenstein she now looks a bit like a drunk, and when she gets the hiccups, its really funny. Shes hardly crawling anymore at all. She will walk, fall, walk, fall, walk, fall over and over again until she eventually does get where she was intending to go. Just takes her awhile.

Noah Michael

Tonight was Noah's concert at school. It was technically a Holiday Program that was supposed to take place before Christmas break, but it was cancelled due to the snow. So it was rescheduled for tonight. It was really good. Noah plays so well. He plays the Baritone. It amazes me how well this kid can play an instrument that he literally didn't even know the name of a mere 4 months ago. Now he can read music and play actual songs. Delilah and Annabel love to sit in his room and listen to him play. Its a very deep soothing instrument. I never thought I would say that I ask my child to practice, but I do. I love listening to him.

Here are a few pictures of the concert. Isn't he just handsome? ;)

January 12. 2009

Today was quite possibly the worst day of my life. Ive had my share of crappy days but today tops them all.

Today we buried my Grandma. Watching someone you love so much be put forever into the ground is absolutely heart breaking.

The service was very nice. My Grandpa was so strong. It broke my heart to see his lip quiver as he tried to be so strong. How hard must it be to sit and gaze at the person you've shared your life with for over 40 years and know that you will never again see her face, hear her voice or kiss her lips. My heart breaks for him. He is such an amazing man.

Today did go better than yesterday. Today I made it into the room for the service. I attempted to go up to the casket after the service, I was afraid I would regret not doing so, and once the service was over, I was never going to see her again. Now, I didn't go up there to say goodbye. I said goodbye to my Grandma on Wednesday night when she could hear me. I said I love you, I held her hand and I kissed her. That was my goodbye. Today was more to prove to my mind, my mind that is refusing to believe that this is all happening, that it really is happening. That is MY Grandma laying in that box. I did make it up to see her. My cousin was there, I glanced at her and I instantly sobbed and clutched for her shoulder to hide my face in. Ok, maybe sobbed isn't the right word, a heart wrenching cry is more appropriate. My mind refuses to believe this. As my knees buckled, again, my Aunt Lori was there holding me. Holding me UP from falling.

So, although it doesn't sound like I did better, I feel like I did. In time, maybe my mind will come to terms with what my eyes saw today.

The kids all did well. Madeline was very upset but she did great. Juliette had a hard time seeing me break down but she did well too. Noah and Joseph were strong little men, and Annabel kind of just took it all in. Delilah was her usual smiling self. I just love the innocence of babies. Its so calming at times like this.

Aaron was Aaron. My wonderfully sensitive yet strong husband. God, how I love him.

Joseph and Aaron were pallbearers. Joseph did so good. I'm so proud of him, such a big job for a 14 year old boy. Grandma would have been proud too.

The one thing that stuck with me, as the minister was speaking was, "Death is just a temporary interruption in our relationships".

Oh, how that statement made me feel so much better. Temporary interruption I can handle. Its forever that is hard to accept.

Strength....

Today was my Grandmas wake. I learned something about myself today. I learned that Im not nearly as strong as I thought I was. I consider myself a very strong person. I went today with the intention of being there for everyone else. Im the big sister. Im the oldest daughter. I was supposed to be the one everyone could fall apart on. Boy, did I get a wake up call. I turned out to be the one sitting in the corner, a total mess.
I did try to go into the viewing room. I went in there, my back straight, my shoulders back, ready to visit with family I hadnt seen in years. I took 3 steps, looked at my Grandma laying so peacefully in the casket, and from there I cant really tell you what happened. My head started spinning, my knees buckled, my heart hurt like no pain Ive ever felt before and I ended up in the nearest chair, clutching onto Annabel.

I hope tomorrow is easier. Maybe my mind will be more prepared than it was today. My heart sure wont be. There is a piece of my heart that will never come back, its gone with my Grandma.

Maybe strength isnt my thing.

Five Rainbows

My cousin just called. Shes driving here from Brookings. In the time since she left her house this morning shes seen FIVE RAINBOWS. FIVE. This is very signifigant to us. My Great Grandma, Great Grandpa, Uncle Mike, Uncle John and Grandma. The relationships between those people are what is significant. My Great Grandma and Great Grandpa were parents to my Grandma and Uncle John. My Uncle Mike was my Grandmas first son.

**The legends of many cultures see the rainbow as a kind of bridge between heaven and earth. One of the most beautiful sights in nature, the rainbow has become in western culture a symbol of renewed hope; something lucky to look upon. The North American Catawba Indians of the Southeast and the Tlingit of the Northwest both regard it as the bridge between the living and the dead. **

Coincidence? I truely dont think so. Im so glad that Jennifer pays such close attention to the signs that she is given and that she could pass that on to me.

I now now in my heart that they are all together and I am so happy.

R.I.P Nancy Lou Sarysz. My Grandma.

My Grandma died this morning. Im not sure how I feel. Well, that isnt correct. I KNOW Im sad. Very sad. But I feel if I cry, Im crying for ME. Not for her. Shes all better now. I guess I can cry for my kids for the great-grandma they didnt get for 35 years like I did. Or for my Grandpa whos lost his wife. But truely, to cry for ME just doesnt feel right. It seems selfish. But I do feel relief for her. She was in so much pain. All the time. Im glad the pain is gone. I know that shes now with her son, her mom and her dad and that gives me peace. But now my Grandpa is left here all alone. Thats not right either. How can someone dying make you feel such heavy sadness and such great relief all at the same time? Conflicting emotions are hard. I seem to get them alot lately.


Jeez, if this is what being an adult is like, I think Ill pass. Too late you think?


I have to tell the kids when they get home. I worry about Madeline. She was pretty upset when we left Grandma last night. But she did get to say goodbye. And Grandma smiled when she heard her voice. I hope the kids remember how much she loved them and loved being with them.


I was talking with my Aunt Lori this morning. She said something, She said "Not many people get such a perfect death" "All of her family got to visit and say goodbye and hold her one last time".


Very true statement in my opinion.


My mom, sister and Grandpa were with her when she died. My uncle is here from California.


RIP Grandma. I love you.







Grandma and Nikki. (me)

What a beautiful woman.

Another Sad Day......

Grandma and Newborn Baby Delilah

So my blog isnt really all about death but it looks like that is the topic of the beginning of the New Year ;(

Today is not a good day. My grandma is dying. Well, she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer 6 months ago but now is the time. Her time. The Dr's say a few hours or possibly a few days. Strange how this makes me feel like Im 5 again. But I cant be 5 when my family need me to be 35. And strong. My cousin Jennifer is coming from Brookings tomorrow. Thank God. I need her just as I did when I was 5.

R.I.P Jett Travolta

This is sad. So sad.

I know it happened Friday but Ive been thinking about it all weekend and I just cant stop thinking about it. I love John Travolta. I have since I saw Grease when I was like 10. And every other movie hes done since then.

I hate that him and his wife have to go through this. No person should have to feel the pain of losing a child.

There are very few actors in Hollywood who are so personable that you feel like you know them. Very few actors who have the talent and the personality to be so loved by the public. John Travolta is one of them. Such an amazing family. Such a tragedy.

My heart is breaking for them. I pray that they find peace in all this.

I thought this song by John Lennon was sort of fitting. Not totally but it still sort of sums up the relationship and how important a father/sons love is.

Beautiful Boy

Close your eyes,

Have no fear,

The monsters gone,

He's on the run and your daddy's here,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy,

Before you go to sleep,

Say a little prayer,

Every day in every way,

It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,

I can hardly wait,

To see you to come of age,

But I guess we'll both,

Just have to be patient,

Yes it's a long way to go,

But in the meantime,

Before you cross the street,

Take my hand,

Life is just what happens to you,

While your busy making other plans,

Beautiful,

Beautiful, beautiful,

Beautiful Boy

Its Snowing. Again.

And the kids are NOT happy. They are so ready to get back to school. 3.5 weeks for Christmas break is alot.

Hopefully, it will start raining soon so they can get back to school. As it is, they are going to be stuck inside till the end of June!

Its Official...

Annabel is potty learned. And yes, we try to say learned. Let me tell you why. If you think about it, most people say "potty trained". Well, in my opinion, training is something you do with a puppy. Am I right? Our children are not animals (ok, sometimes we say they are but they really arent) So, with our kids, we teach them things, thus they learn those things, so its logical to me to say "potty learned" as opposed to potty training.

We are going to the store today to get some "big girl panties". Im hoping we can finally get dressed.

On another note, Lilah isnt totally walking yet. Shes still trying. Stands by herself. Takes a few steps but nothing too drastic. Thank goodness. Imagine your 2 youngest children meeting major milestones on the same day? Potty learning AND walking? Too much for me to take in on one day.

Oh, and the obligatory "Frankensteins First Steps" picture. (I say that only because that is what it looks like, nothing to do with her independent developing personality)